Chautaal-Faag and other traditional songs played during Holi serve as musical bridges, connecting the young and older generations of Girmitiyas spread across the world to their ancestors’ homeland, India. These songs are the heartbeat of their celebrations, and they are trying to preserve and promote these in all possible ways.
Celebrating the Warriors of India’s Traditional Attire
In a country where fashion trends come and go, a timeless and iconic garment continues to grace the Indian landscape with its elegance and cultural significance – the dhoti. This versatile and traditional attire has been integral to Indian men’s wardrobe for centuries. While modern fashion trends may have introduced new styles, the Dhoti Daredevils of India proudly wear this classic garment, embodying a spirit of tradition and fearlessness.
India has diverse cultures and traditions; its traditional attire reflects this rich tapestry. The dhoti is essentially a rectangular piece of unstitched cloth, typically measuring around 4.5 meters (15 ft) in length. It is draped around the waist and legs and then knotted at the waist. This elegant garment reflects the cultural diversity and regional variations found within the Indian subcontinent. The dhoti holds a special place among men’s many traditional garments; it holds significant prominence in almost all states. In the northern parts of Gujarat and southern parts of Rajasthan, the dhoti, known as “Pancha,” is often paired with a short kurta called “kediya.” The most common combination is dhoti and kurta, known as “dhoti kurta.” In Bengal, the kurta is called “panjabi,” and the ensemble is known as “dhuti panjabi.” In Tamil Nadu, it is worn with a “sattai” or shirt, while in Andhra Pradesh, it is paired with a “chokka” and in Kerala as “jubba.” Assam embraces the kurta as “panjabi,” and the combination is called “suriya panjabi.” Dhoti, as it is called in the Hindi belt, Mundu in Kerala and Veshti in Tamil Nadu, is a traditional attire, especially in the country’s southern parts.
Preserving Tradition:
The dhoti is more than just a piece of clothing; it represents a deep-rooted cultural heritage that connects the past with the present. Dhoti daredevils are the torchbearers of this ancient tradition, donning the attire on various occasions, from religious ceremonies and weddings to festive celebrations and cultural events. Their unwavering dedication to preserving this aspect of Indian culture keeps the flame of tradition alive and burning brightly.
Reviving the Style:
Despite being steeped in tradition, the dhoti is not immune to the winds of change. Over time, its popularity has fluctuated, and younger generations have sometimes veered towards more Westernized fashion. However, the dhoti daredevils play a pivotal role in reviving this traditional style, embracing it with pride and incorporating it into contemporary fashion with a touch of modern flair. By doing so, they inspire others to appreciate the elegance and versatility of this timeless garment.
Dhoti as a Symbol of Fearlessness:
Wearing a dhoti requires a certain level of skill and confidence. The dhoti daredevils exhibit fearlessness as they gracefully carry themselves in this attire, navigating their way through various social and cultural settings with poise and charm. Their bold choice to wear dhotis challenges stereotypes and showcases that traditional attire can be as powerful and stylish as any modern fashion statement.
Breaking Gender Norms:
While the dhoti has predominantly been associated with men’s fashion, the dhoti daredevils are breaking gender norms by encouraging women to embrace this garment as well. With the rise of gender-inclusive fashion, women are increasingly choosing to wear dhotis, celebrating their heritage and expressing empowerment.
Cultural Ambassadors:
The Dhoti Daredevils are cultural ambassadors, not just within India but also on the global stage. Their fearless display of traditional attire showcases the rich diversity of Indian culture to the world, drawing admiration and respect from different corners of the globe. They preserve the country’s unique identity and heritage by embracing their roots.
The dhoti’s cultural significance lies in its deep-rooted connection to traditions, customs, and regional identities. It represents the rich heritage and diverse cultural tapestry of the Indian subcontinent. Wearing the dhoti is not just a fashion statement but an expression of respect, identity, and an appreciation for the customs and rituals associated with the garment.
The Dhoti Daredevils of India are remarkable men who wear their traditional attire with immense pride. They are the torchbearers of a rich cultural heritage, keeping the flame of tradition alive in a world of ever-changing fashion trends. Through their bold fashion choices, they inspire others to appreciate and embrace the elegance of the dhoti while breaking stereotypes and challenging gender norms. As cultural ambassadors, they spotlight India’s diverse heritage and showcase the power of tradition in the modern world. The Dhoti Daredevils remind us all of the significance of preserving our cultural roots and celebrating the essence of who we are.
Rajasthan:
The Rajasthani dhoti, also known as the “Safa Dhoti,” reflects the royal heritage and grandeur of the region. Made from luxurious fabrics like silk or cotton, the dhoti features exquisite hand-block prints, intricate embroidery, and ornate borders. The colours are vibrant and eye-catching, ranging from rich reds and royal blues to earthy browns and mustard yellows. The Rajasthani dhoti is often paired with a matching bandhani (tie and dye) or colourful turban, reflecting the traditional attire of Rajput warriors. This ensemble is commonly worn during festive occasions, weddings, and cultural celebrations, symbolizing grace, valour, and a deep connection to Rajasthan’s rich history.
Gujarat:
The Gujarati dhoti, popularly known as the “Patola Dhoti,” is a testament to Gujarat’s weavers’ exceptional craftsmanship and artistic skills. Patola silk, renowned for its intricate double ikat patterns, is the hallmark of the Gujarati dhoti. The weaving process is meticulous, involving tying and dyeing the warp and weft threads separately before carefully weaving them together. The result is a mesmerizing display of geometric designs, vibrant colors, and intricate motifs. The Gujarati dhoti is often paired with an embellished bandhgala jacket or kurta, creating a stunning ensemble for weddings, festivals, and cultural events. It represents the rich textile heritage of Gujarat and reflects the wearer’s refined taste and appreciation for artistic excellence.
Maharashtra:
Maharashtrian dhotis, known as “Dhotar” in Marathi, are a traditional attire worn by men in the Indian state of Maharashtra. The dhoti is a rectangular piece of cloth that is typically wrapped around the waist and legs. Maharashtrian dhotis have a distinct style and are often accompanied by a unique way of draping, each with its own significance and cultural variations. The choice of style often depends on the occasion, personal preference, and regional customs.
Why do temples down south insist men wear a Dhoti before entering its premises?It is a sign of reverence, respect, and a sense of purity. Also, some temples insist on removing the shirt, and the person has to enter the temple bare-chested. Also, the belief is that the temple has a lot of energy within, which can be imbibed if we are bare-chested. Historically, only the wealthy and well-to-do scholars used to wear an upper-body vest and the lower class used to be bare-chested. Wearing a shirt was considered ostentatious and a sign of showing off one’s wealth. But in the presence of God, there should not be any opulent show of wealth; hence, temples asked the male devotees to remove shirts. This is practised to this day in most of the temples in Kerala. While in some temples, you are permitted to wear the shirt in the outer perimeter within the temple walls, you will have to remove the shirt if you have to enter the inner sanctum. In some temples, you must remove the shirt even if you have to enter the main gate of the temple, e.g. The Shree Padmanabhaswamy Temple in Thiruvananthapuram requires male devotees to remove their shirts and compulsorily wear dhotis even to enter the main gate. ~ M. Subbamani, a native of Tamil Nadu
‘Ki Nonsense Kotha Bolchen!’, a collection of caricatured terms and phrases quintessential Kolkatan in nature, is nothing but unadulterated joy. Painstakingly presented in this tiny pocket-size book by Debashish Deb and Mudar Patherya, it smacks of the City of Joy, the most colourful one in the world, by virtue of its ‘characters’. Kolkata does not run as much by logic or reason as by emotion. Here ‘Shobai Character’ (everyone living in Kolkata is a character). By that analogy, Kolkata has more characters per sq km than any other Indian city, 15.3 million and counting, which makes this no ordinary boi (book) but a celebration of these characters and their spirit — Maverick, Unique, Unpredictable, Effervescent, Excitable, and Rebel. The title uses “Nonsense”, the only parliamentary English word to which the Bengali takes complete offence because it is synonymous with “extensive dismissiveness, complete disregard and a comprehensive decimation of respect”, simply a non-negotiable term and condition for their existence. If it offends you further, I could only say the most ridiculous line in a Kolkatan’s parlance — “Dhor to Aamakay!”
The tiny book (currently out of stock) has vividly captured the city’s distinctive lingual flavour — a part of it that speaks Bengali, a part that speaks English, a part that speaks Hindi and a part that speaks European… making Kolkata the melting pot of cultures and gives us a distinctive verbal reference for the city’s people, places, passion and purpose. It regales the outsider by capturing its varied essence. It makes the insider nostalgic, reminiscing about the characters who represent “innocence in a commercial world, a special sauce in an otherwise dull world, diversity in a conforming world and rebelliousness in a cowering world.” After flipping through these pages, I can only exclaim, “Mairi! Hebbey Laagchey!” (Excellent) or better, “Aantel Marka” (deeply artistic with a profound thought). But if you say, “Sheta Bodo Kotha Noi! (It’s no big deal)” I will give up because “Aar Baba Paarchi Na! Bolay Dilam Maanay Rella Nini Ba!” (I can’t deal with it anymore. Could you not create an uproar over it, pl)? In praise of the Bhodrolok behind this creation, I can only say, “Uni Holayn Aamader Khoob My Dear Lok” (endearingly affable person), for adding many more terms to my limited Bengali vocabulary. If someone asks, “Kon Bawaal Kees” (Who created this drama)?, you can blame the “Goodself” (Yours Truly), “Babushona”! I couldn’t help but agree with the duo that ‘Ei Rokom Jaayega Kothaaaao Nei’ (There’s no place like Kolkata anywhere), and this book is “Byaapak, Shanghaatik, Durdaanto, Phaatafati” — OUTSTANDING! Boi ta fatiye diyeche! (The book has nailed Kolkata like never before).
February 14th is observed as National Ferris Wheel Day in honour of the birth of George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr., the man who invented the Ferris Wheel.
So here is celebrating the day, a bit belated, with the most telling image of the #FerrisWheel or the #GiantWheel from Avinash Arun Dhaware’s #ThreeofUs.
In the novel, “The Catcher in the Rye”, by J.D. Salinger, the protagonist, Holden Caulfield, reflects on his childhood memories while riding a Ferris Wheel with Phoebe at a carnival. He wishes it could be this way for him and her forever.
In this film, while taking a spin on the Ferris Wheel, childhood buddies Pradeep Kamath and Shailaja Desai relive their good old days, rewinding to that moment with a tinge of nostalgia when they were here together for the last time as children and giving that unfinished story the much-needed closure as adults.
Three of Us
A Ferris Wheel has a distinctive and universally recognizable nature, and it is no surprise that this scene is one of the most memorable in the film and finds a place on the poster, too.
The circular motion of a Ferris Wheel symbolizes cycles, continuity, and the never-ending nature of certain processes or experiences for both Pradeep and Shailaja and even Dipankar Desai.
The motion of a Ferris Wheel, with its ascending and descending movements, can be seen as a metaphor for their lives ups and downs after their last ride together on the Ferris Wheel many moons ago.
When Pradeep says, “If the wheel ever stopped mid-air, I didn’t want it to start again,” it highlights how the Ferris Wheel evoked nostalgia and a sense of the past, connecting people to memories of fun times and simpler pleasures. It also creates a sense of adventure and excitement because we see Dipankar choosing to stay away from the ride, letting Shailaja and Pradeep go for a ride one last time before they bid goodbye to each other forever.
Three of Us is streaming on Netflix.
When the wheel stops for a while (a brilliant way to pause and let the characters converse), Shailaja takes a moment to express how she still wouldn’t wish the wheel to restart. She reminisces how she was in a great hurry to get to Vengurla, and now, when she’s here, she’s missing Mumbai. But at that particular moment when the wheel has halted, she doesn’t feel the need to hurry anymore. “This is where I want to be, and I’m here,” she says, to which Pradeep couldn’t help but ask her, “Why didn’t you come back sooner, Shailaja?” She has no answer to his question but makes up for all that was and is now lost by saying, “After I left, I didn’t find the time to return. Our whole life is spent in a dilemma. Do we choose a busy or a peaceful life? Only recently, life said to me, “Slow Down.” And I did.”
Riding the Ferris Wheel together provides a different perspective of the surroundings with each revolution. It also symbolizes the importance of gaining new perspectives, reflecting, and seeing the bigger picture in various aspects of life for Pradeep and Shailaja.
However, the filmmaker has steered away from giving any romantic connotation to the Ferris Wheel ride by filming this scene in the glowing light of the evening and not an illuminated Ferris Wheel at night.
The scene is subtle, subdued, and sublime, much like their performances and the film, #ThreeofUs.
Centuries ago, the humble weaver, mystic and poet Kabir, who once lived in the lanes of Kashi, wrote a profound poem titled ‘Jheeni Jheeni Beeni Chadariya’. His verse is a metaphorical and philosophical expression that uses the metaphor of the loom and weaving process to reveal the mysteries of life. The title also inspired Abdul Bismillah’s Hindi novel ‘Jheeni Jheeni Beeni Chadariya’ on the lives of weavers in Varanasi, much like filmmaker Ritesh Sharma, who borrows it for his film, ‘Jhini Bini Chadariya’, to explore the lesser-talked-about character of the holy city — Kabir’s Kashi where Muslim weavers run the looms and produce some of the world’s finest silk saris worn mostly by Hindu women, and also its once flourishing and now fading into oblivion courtesan culture.
These two quintessential characters of Kashi come to life as Shahdab, the young Muslim weaver facing an existential crisis, and Rani, the orchestra dancer who gyrates and grooves to vulgar songs in the glare of myriad-coloured light beams, entertaining the lustful local audience with her sleazy moves. The filmmaker uses them as the access point to delve deeper into the city’s socio-political, socio-cultural and socio-religious fabric and lays it threadbare. The motif here is the same as that was seen in ‘Nasir’, ‘Aani Maani’, etc, and Ritesh joins other independent voices in filmmaking who aren’t shying away from exploring centuries-old traditions of India that champion humanism, inclusion, syncretism, and how all these ideals are being swiftly eroded under the strong winds of Hindutva.
A traditional handloom weaver, Shahdab, lives in the silk-weaving neighbourhood of Pili Kothi, and the clackety-clack sounds from the looms fill the air in his room but not loud enough to drown the threat of being wiped off sometime soon. The fear looms large over him because his art is helpless before the modern power looms that can produce silk saris cheaper and faster. The shot through the open door also gives us a glimpse of the sari-clad mannequin, his constant companion. On the other hand, Rani fends for herself and her deaf and mute daughter, Pinky, with earnings from a not-so-respectable trade. She dreams of sending her daughter away to a boarding school one day so that the poor child doesn’t have to live with her classmates’ taunts of being a dancer’s daughter. Rani has stars in her eyes and hopes to make it big with a much-awaited debut in a music video and, from there, move on to act in films one day.
The filmmaker uses symmetry in characterisation and plot to show the parallels in the lives of its male and female actors, perhaps to reiterate the more resounding theme of communal bigotry and show how they end up being the victim of circumstances, eventually falling prey to it, in one way or the other, for no fault of theirs. It starts with parallels between Hindu prayer chants and a mosque’s Muslim prayer call, interspersed on the screen. The constant blaring of hate speeches on loudspeakers and the airing of news on radio and television in the background gives the film a documentary feel.
Jhini Bini Chadariya
While Shahdab befriends an Israeli backpacker, Adah, Rani deals with the romantic overtures of a young man, Baba, who has no agency to change things for good for her object of affection. Still, he harbours a deep intent to do so and quite hopelessly nurtures dreams of a good life and helplessly sees it blown to smithereens.
Shahdab’s one-sided love remains unrequited as Adah puts him in the friend zone, nothing more, nothing less. Rani disapproves of the man’s possessiveness and shows complete disdain for his heroism in trying to protect her honour at the hands of vulturous men who treat her like a piece of meat, wanting to devour her at the first given opportunity, all because she treats herself as no-man’s business.
Shahdab weaves a sari to gift Adah, and she, in return, leaves unannounced with a book on Kabir for him as a parting gift. Rani’s paramour Baba gifts her a sari, too, but she throws it away on his face in a fit of rage, and from there, things go downhill for her.
Shahdab goes on to marry her Shazia, while Rani dilly-dallies on the Baba’s proposal before being brutalised by the henchmen of the local Hindu politico, Shiv Shankar Tiwary. An irate Baba avenges Rani’s ill-treatment at his hands, realising little that his ire will stoke the communal fire in the holy city. The two men, Baba on his bike and Shahdab on his scooter brush past each other for a fleeting moment on a well-lit bridge, perhaps in an ominous suggestion that the peace and harmony will soon be up in flames.
Two threads — Rani and Shahdab’s lives — are intertwined when the riots break out in the city, and that’s how the filmmaker explores the third, invisible character — the city — adeptly exposing the tectonic changes under religious fanaticism. After Shankar’s killing, the cow vigilante breaks loose, blaming the Muslim beef traders in the city for Gaurakshak’s murder. The news spreads like wildfire and consumes the peace and brotherhood of the locality. It leaves Shahdab’s family dead at the hands of rioters, much like the communal riots that broke after the demolition of Babri Mosque on the night of December 6, 1992, and his parents who were killed in its aftermath. Baba, too, is killed in a police encounter after being hunted down for shooting the Hindu leader and, in death, is called Mustafa, which pretty much explains the story in a nutshell.
One of the most telling scenes unfolds amidst the resonant chants and the echo of bells. Once a dynamic hub of diverse languages, faiths, and profound knowledge, the vibrant city echoed with loud slogans and ritualistic fervour. The air was filled with the booming beats of dumroos, fervent cries of “Har Har Mahadev” mingling with “Jai Shri Ram,” the showering of petals, and an elaborate display of ceremonial worship, and the city fitting in the oversized idea of aggressive Hindutva.
The camera becomes a silent spectator, standing still and documenting their lives, ways and means of living with acute detachment, offering the audience a voyeuristic glimpse on a few occasions. The cinematic framing of windows, doors and the windows above the doors in the characters’ homes, or the movement of two-wheelers in the city’s lanes and bylanes with the camera positioned at the fag end, or shots of religious processions, are spread liberally all throughout, from beginning to end, to show the camera’s distant approach in filming, and showing the changing face of the city, and not the usual touristy stuff.
The actors owned their roles with ease as if they were one amongst the many Ranis or Shahdabs that inhabit the ancient city of Kashi. Their dialogue delivery, body language, mannerisms, and looks seemed a seamless blend and a perfect reflection of the milieu painstakingly portrayed in the film.
The sound design combines every piece of audio in the film—including dialogues, sound effects, ambience, and score—to create the film’s soundscape quite effectively. It suitably adds to give the film a docu-drama touch.
Much like the poem, where Kabir uses the weaving process as a symbolic representation of life and its mysteries, comparing the fine, delicate cloth to the subtle and intricate nature of existence, with the act of weaving serving as a metaphor for the divine process of creation and the unfolding of life, the filmmaker uses the loom to represent the current political order, and each thread in the fabric signifies an individual’s life. The interconnectedness of the threads illustrates the interdependence of all life forms. The cloth being woven here by the filmmaker symbolizes the intricate tapestry of the prevailing situation in the country.
The disclaimer at the beginning, “some of the events and situations in this film are not fictional”, sets the tone, and in 1 hour 37 minutes, Ritesh portrays all of it with sensitivity, honesty, tenderness and aloofness. The film seems like a leaf out of everyday India, documented by a young filmmaker who manages to weave the fabric with a keen eye on the prevailing situations, leaving us visibly rattled and shaken. We, the audience, are like Pinky, who takes up dancing and is framed from an open window in the last shot, complicit, complacent and conformists in the changing landscape of secular India. It is a brittle thread, and we need to protect it now more than ever.
एक ही दीवाने को आये थे समझाने कई पहले दीवाना मैं था अब हैं दीवाने कई एक ही पत्थर लगे है हर इबादतगाह पर अपने-अपने बुत का सबने गढ़ लिए अफसाने कई ~ नज़ीर बनारसी के लिखी ये पंक्तियां जो इस फ़िल्म में इस्तेमाल हुई हैं
Written and Directed by Ritesh Sharma Cast: Megha Mathur…Rani Muzaffar Khan…Shahdab Sivan Spector…Adah Syed Iqbal Ahmed…Abbu Roopa Chaurasiya…Pinky Nishant Kumar…Nadeem Shweta Nagar…Shazia Ashutosh Singh…Shiv Shankar Tiwari Utkarsh Srivastav…Baba Heramba Shankar Tripathi…Faisal
What did you do today? Well, I stepped back and did nothing because it was the National Day of Nothing. In a constantly hustling and bustling world, January 16 stands out for its sheer celebration of nothingness, and I must admit that I love its sheer ingenuity because we often tend to glorify productivity and busyness; celebrating “nothing at all” may seem a counterintuitive move. Our society often places a premium on constant activity, so taking a day to celebrate nothing at all becomes a radical act of self-care. It’s a deliberate step towards a healthier, more balanced life—where moments of stillness are accepted and embraced as essential for overall well-being.
However, taking a day off to do nothing provides a much-needed pause in our hectic lives. It is a time to step back, reflect, rethink and recalibrate oneself. However, those aboard the Hamster’s Wheel may find it a tad difficult to pretend to do something when doing nothing, but it is an art form in itself, and with time, one can become adept at doing nothing and relatively guilt-free.
The importance of doing nothing bodes well for one’s being, and these need to be emphasised repeatedly, like a broken record.
Mental Well-being: Constantly being on the go can affect our mental health. Taking a day to do nothing allows our minds to rest, recharge, and find a sense of calm. It’s an opportunity to step back from the daily hustle and prioritize mental well-being.
Stress Reduction: The relentless pace of modern life often leads to stress and burnout. Celebrating nothing at all is a conscious choice to break free from the cycle, reducing stress levels and promoting overall relaxation.
Reflection and Mindfulness: Doing nothing doesn’t mean mindless idleness. It’s a chance to reflect on our lives, goals, and priorities. Embracing mindfulness during this time can lead to greater self-awareness and a deeper connection with our thoughts and emotions.
The Cult of Busyness: Society often equates busyness with success, but this mindset can harm our well-being. Taking a day to do nothing challenges this cultural norm, emphasizing the importance of balance.
Creativity Boost: Allowing our minds to wander and daydream during a day of doing nothing can spark creativity. In these moments of quiet, innovative ideas often surface, unburdened by the usual demands of a busy schedule.
How to celebrate Nothing Day?
Disconnect: Turn off notifications, put away electronic devices, and revel in the simplicity of unplugging by creating a tech-free zone to detach from the outside world.
Engage in Restful Activities: Read a book, stroll, or indulge in a favourite hobby. Choose activities that bring joy without the pressure of productivity.
Embrace the Silence: Enjoy the beauty of silence. Whether through meditation or simply sitting in quiet contemplation, let your mind unwind without external distractions. Embrace the present moment and let go of the constant need for productivity.
Creative Expression: Channel your inner artist—paint, write, or create without any specific goal in mind, and let creativity to flow freely, unburdened by the constraints of productivity.
Connect with loved ones: Spend quality time with friends and family, share laughter, and create lasting memories. Strengthening bonds can be a beautiful way to celebrate the day of nothingness.
As the renowned poet Daag Dehlavi once mused,
“हजारों काम मोहब्बत में हैं मजे के दाग
जो लोग कुछ नहीं करते कमाल करते हैं.”
Translated, it means, “Thousands of tasks lie in the realm of love… those who do nothing, achieve wonders.” This sentiment echoes the wisdom of poets and philosophers who recognize the value of embracing a day dedicated to the art of non-productivity.
Mirza Ghalib, the celebrated Urdu poet, once remarked, ‘इश्क ने ‘गालिब’ निकम्मा कर दिया, वर्ना हम भी आदमी थे काम के,’ which translates to, “Love made Ghalib worthless, otherwise, I too was a man of substance.” These words highlight the unconventional wisdom that lies in doing nothing. Ghalib implies that love, or in this case, the National Day of Nothing, can render life’s mundane tasks inconsequential, allowing us to appreciate the beauty of simply being.
To celebrate the National Day of Nothing, in letter and spirit, let’s embrace the words of Daag Dehlavi and Mirza Ghalib. In the pursuit of doing nothing, we might just find the extraordinary in the ordinary. So, take a break from the hustle, let go of the need to accomplish, and revel in the joy of non-productivity. After all, in the art of doing nothing, there lies the potential for something truly remarkable. Schedule a day to do nothing and see its positive impact on your life. You will be surprised at the results.
In a world clouded with chaos, confusion, challenges, stress, and uncertainties, an infectious force is hard at work, quite unnoticed. Their task is spreading joy around like a glitter bomb that won’t go away quickly. The cheery bunch seems filled with joie de vivre in abundance, the sure-shot fallback option to beat out the blues for the dispirited fellas like me. These joy carriers are the silver lining—a powerful phenomenon that can spread like wildfire, infecting one’s heart and mind with a delightful contagion. In the huge cosmic space, these Joygerms are microscopic entities—tiny, powerful, and yet capable of transforming the emotional landscape of anyone they touch. These Joygerms encapsulate the essence of joy as an infectious agent.
Laughter is the ultimate carrier of joy and the background music of a Joygerm’s life. Joygerms often have an infectious laugh that can brighten dull moments and create a joyful melody that captivates everyone around them. Their ability to find humour in everyday situations becomes a source of delight for those within their sphere of influence. It’s always good to be that tiny dot connecting others in the laughter circle. Laughter alone has a positive impact on one’s environment. It is an intentional, feel-good step towards radiating positivity. It starts with sharing encouraging words, offering support, and creating an environment where optimism becomes contagious. Joygerms thrive on resilience and optimism. They see challenges as opportunities and setbacks as stepping stones, spreading a resilient outlook and encouraging gloomy ones to keep their chin up and face adversity with a positive mindset. With time, I have learnt it too. Joygerms emit a distinct aura, and aura of hope. Their presence alone can uplift spirits, creating an environment where positivity becomes the default setting. It’s not just what they say or do; it’s the vibe they carry with aplomb. They radiate positivity effortlessly. Their presence can brighten the room, and they have a knack for turning gloomy atmospheres into lively ones. Spontaneity is their forte. Joygerms are known for surprising others with unexpected acts of joy—a cheerful note, a small gift, or a spontaneous call to lighten the mood. These Joygerms have taught me to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and cultivate resilience by adopting an optimistic perspective despite adversity. Joygerms are synonymous with kindness. Whether a small gesture or a grand act, their thoughtfulness is kindness that creates a ripple effect. A kind deed triggers a chain reaction of positivity from them to me and from me to others. Isn’t that a good chain reaction? They have taught me to spread kindness far and wide. Acts of kindness, whether through words, gestures, or thoughtful deeds, no matter how small, can have a profound impact on the lives of others, and it is the least we can do for others. The impact of Joygerms is limitless, and the more carriers we have (like my bunch), the brighter our collective world becomes because embracing the role of a Joygerm is not just about personal happiness; it’s about contributing to the well-being of those around you. So, are you ready to be a carrier of joy? And pass it on! Just keep it going.
(I am happy to be infected by the countable few “Joygerms” in my life, and I take this opportunity to express my profound gratitude towards them. They enrich my life with their mere presence. Once infected, I am bound to become a happiness carrier and infect many more, actively spreading it to those around me. That’s how it works.)
Ma’am, you were my anam cara, soul friend, teacher, and eternal guide, and you will always be. As our moral science teacher in class 8, you set the moral compass in each one of us, and that became our guiding light, from then to now. We were privileged to learn briefly under your tutelage in Class 9. But then you left for Delhi, and my batch felt like a headless chicken or rather a cat on a hot tin roof, scattered, lost and grappling with the vast English syllabus, prose, poetry and drama, and that too Julius Caesar, and change of two teachers in the entire term. That was a tad disappointing for me and the rest of my batchmates. All of us had heard about how you had helped the batch of 1993, then in Class 11, stage the play at Pell Mell and on a quote historical day… 6th December 1992, and oh boy, it was a roaring success from the word go. My wish to be your student remained largely unfulfilled back then in school. But the Universe was watching and found a way to fulfil this earnest desire most beautifully. I chanced upon an online news feature on you, which surprisingly had a backlink to your website with your email address and mobile number. I quickly emailed a request, and in a day, with Naaz’s help, you called me. I was over the moon. I went to meet in late 2015 and was stunningly delighted at this chance encounter with my favourite teacher. I kept meeting you on and off.
From 2016 onwards, I became more regular here. I found your energy and enthusiasm remarkable and secretly hoped a bit of it could rub off on me, too. I saw you attending the school, looking after its day-to-day affairs, monitoring and managing it so well, quite singlehandedly. Year after year, I saw you successfully organise Mehendi Camps here in C Pocket Park, eye care camps, health care camps, and blood donation camps in Madanpur Khadar Village, and events for every occasion in the school without fail. You knew that empowering children through education wasn’t enough. You introduced Dance, Yoga, Sports sessions, and vocational training for underprivileged children, a thoughtful way of well-rounded growth and development. While preparing the Souvenir in 2016 for the 21st Annual Day celebration, I learned about your long and arduous journey, and I will doff my hat in honour of your tenacious spirit. You taught me more than you could have as my English teacher in school. I have done it all these years, which I attribute to you. You were a pretty hard taskmaster, I must say. I connected my Carmel school seniors and teachers, designed and edited the newsletters, booklets and Souvenirs, did fundraising by way of selling ad spaces in the annual Souvenir, and also found buyers for your hand-knit woollen sweaters, caps, mufflers, socks, stoles, papad, achaar, badi, diwali candles and diyas, embroidered towels, cushion covers, and table cloths, and cloth shopping bags; organising stalls at different events across the city to sell of these kinds of stuff too. You trusted me to organise a picnic for school children around Delhi’s historical hotspots in 2017, screening films for them, and organising workshops for teachers. Well, you taught me more than anyone else could in all these years.
I joined you as a Volunteer, and even though I was formally inducted into the core team of the NGO and took up the position of Secretary, I always felt like your foot soldier. We Carmelites met on your birthday, teacher’s day and Guldasta’s annual day, and you were the most gracious host ever. The last assignment you entrusted me with was spreading the word about your autobiography, Much Ado About Nothing. I did. But yes, I couldn’t carry forward the mantle of leading the NGO or taking charge of the school, Guldasta. I knew I didn’t have the chops for the same or could, in my wildest dreams, match your passion for the cause, dedication to the task and commitment to lead it. I was struggling with my health and withdrew because I thought that was the best way to avoid disappointing you. I failed. And I am sorry. An African proverb says when an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. And when an old woman dies, I say, a school burns to the ground. This is how I feel writing about everything you meant to me. It is a strange coincidence that you chose to pack off in December, the most important month in your school’s calendar, when you would be right here in the Community Hall for Guldasta’s Annual Day. It is here where we have assembled today to celebrate you but without you. I will miss your childlike innocence, strength, wit and humour, and life lessons. I will crack up thinking how you had asked me to arrange for a death certificate in advance. Well, that remains unbeatable to date. Everything about you, my chocolatey lady, as I fondly called you for your love of chocolates and cakes, will be missed by all of us here… Your birthday, which falls on World Chocolate Day, will be another reason to binge on chocolates from 2024 onwards. Goodbye till we meet again!
It’s more than just a greeting; it’s a reassuring reminder of our enduring connections with friends, relatives, and loved ones. It’s a beautiful manifestation of thoughtfulness and a daily reminder of the special people who enrich our lives in beautiful ways.
For nearly a decade, my day started with a subtle ping, courtesy of a WhatsApp message from my friend M. Like a morning rooster, M would gently nudge me awake with his daily dose of positivity. Yes, I’m a victim of the “Good Morning Syndrome,” and I absolutely adore it!
M’s unwavering dedication to this ritual touched my heart. Rain or shine, holiday or workday, that “Good Morning” message was my daily anchor. It was a heartfelt reminder of our love and connection, and it’s as indispensable as my morning tea and M’s coffee.
Over the years, M’s messages have served as life vests in a world that spins faster than a Beyoncé dance routine, keeping me afloat. They’re a testament to the enduring relationships we two treasure. The regularity created a sense of reassurance. Knowing someone is around, popping off the Whatsapp screen first thing in the morning, is a comforting thought to start the day. A small gesture like this has tremendous bearing; it can uplift spirits, fostering a sense of happiness and well-being.
But what’s the secret sauce that makes this daily “ping” so powerful? It’s not just a greeting; it’s an expression of love, like a warm hug from afar. It shouts, “Hey, I’m thinking of you even before my caffeine fix!” It’s the perfect Dopamine-Oxytoxin-Serotonin-Endorphin overdose in one text to help sail through the mundane day.
These morning messages that trickle on one’s phone aren’t one-size-fits-all. Each is a unique art piece, showcasing the sender’s personality. Some go the image route, some the poetic, but they all add warmth and authenticity to our otherwise screen-dominated lives.
I must confess that in a world where emojis often replace emotions and screens substitute for face-to-face chats, “Good Morning” messages are and will be my lifelines. They remind me that real people exist behind the screens and that our relationships remain steadfast and valued.
In our whirlwind lives, where schedules are tighter than a corset, a simple “Good Morning” packs a punch too. It’s the espresso shot of encouragement we need to kickstart the day. Consistency is the key. It is this daily spadework that builds bonds that withstand time.
Is it love, you ask? Absolutely! Just as pure as the Radha and Krishna in those accompanying images, M’s messages connected us in a way only genuine care can. It’s a daily affirmation that someone wishes you a splendid day ahead, no matter the distance. It’s a digital bridge for long-distance connections, reaffirming that love can’t be measured in miles but in the width of the curve that it eventually brings on the face.
These messages are also golden nuggets of thoughtfulness in a world cluttered with distractions. They uplift spirits, injecting a dose of happiness into our morning routine. They say, “You’re not forgotten in this sea of chaos.” I must confess that the days when M’s message doesn’t pop up (which has been the case lately), it feels like a night of not knowing anything, long, dark, cold and unending. Also, old habits die hard. Knowing one hasn’t been forgotten is a beautiful feeling in a world full of mundane distractions.
The habit of remembering and forgetting can significantly impact one’s being; after all, we are social beings. We thrive on love. A friend asked why I wait for a message and why I don’t send one if the person doesn’t. I did try for a few days but failed. I realised that I am a truant and can’t stick to a routine and do it relentlessly and religiously, unlike others like M. My bad. But I count on each Good Morning message as an opportunity, and I heartily reciprocate the gesture and express my deepest gratitude for having such caring individuals in my life. They make my life beautiful.
The “Good Morning Syndrome” is a beautiful reminder of the special people who enrich our lives and make each day a little brighter. So, let’s raise a virtual toast to this good-for-all Syndrome. It’s a reminder that in our jumbled lives, people genuinely care. It’s a small but powerful way to nurture relationships, spread positivity, and start each day with warmth.
“Beneath our anxious quickenings, beneath our fanged fears, beneath the rusted armors of conviction, tenderness is what we long for — tenderness to salve our bruising contact with reality, to warm us awake from the frozen stupor of near-living.”
In the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, we often find ourselves tangled in the web of anxiety and fear. Beneath the surface of our hurried existence lies a longing, a yearning for something deeper, something more profound – tenderness. It is the balm that soothes our bruised souls and the beacon that awakens us from the numbness of mere existence. In this chaotic world, tenderness offers a gentle respite, a reminder of our shared humanity.
Peeling off the Armor
Life is not without its share of challenges and adversities. To protect ourselves from the harsh realities, we sometimes don rusted armours of conviction – beliefs and ideologies that shield us from vulnerability. We wear them like a second skin, afraid to let go for fear of being wounded. Yet, beneath these hardened layers, we yearn for tenderness – the soft touch of understanding and a fellow human’s compassion.
Anxious Quickenings and Fanged Fears
Anxiety often creeps into our minds like an unwelcome guest, gnawing at our peace. We fret about the uncertainties of the future, the judgments of others, and the precariousness of our own existence. Our fears take on fangs, gnashing at our confidence, leaving us wounded and hesitant to embrace tenderness. But if we dare to peer beyond these fears, we’ll find that tenderness can be an antidote to our anxious quickenings, a healing force that binds the broken pieces of our hearts.
The Frozen Stupor of Near-Living
In the relentless pursuit of success and material gains, we may live a life devoid of true meaning. We go through the motions, numbed by the icy grip of routine. Our emotions become frozen, and we lose touch with the essence of our being. In this frozen stupor of near-living, tenderness calls out to us, imploring us to thaw our hearts and embrace the richness of our emotions.
The Healing Power of Tenderness
Tenderness is not weakness; it is strength in vulnerability. It takes courage to let down our guard and connect with others on a deeper, more empathetic level. A tender gesture, a kind word, or a gentle touch can work wonders, healing wounds that may have long been buried beneath the surface. Tenderness nurtures the roots of human connection and fosters a sense of belonging.
Kindling Tenderness Within
We must first kindle it within ourselves to cultivate tenderness in the world. Self-compassion is the seed from which tender empathy grows. By acknowledging our own struggles and treating ourselves with gentleness, we become better equipped to extend the same compassion to others. Tenderness radiates outward like ripples in a pond, touching the lives of those we encounter.
Embracing the Gift of Tenderness
Let us not forget the gift of tenderness in the cacophony of life. It resides beneath the layers of anxiety, fear, and cynicism, waiting to be unearthed. It is a beacon of hope in a world that sometimes seems cold and unfeeling. Let us extend tenderness to ourselves and others, for in doing so, we embrace the very essence of our shared humanity.
So, let us strive to peel off the rusted armours of conviction, confront our anxious quickenings and fanged fears, and thaw the frozen stupor of near-living. In doing so, we allow tenderness to salve our bruising contact with reality and awaken us to the beauty of living fully and compassionately. Let tenderness be our guiding light on this journey of life.
Childhood is meant to be a time of innocence and joy, but unfortunately, it becomes a period marked by trauma and pain for many individuals. Childhood trauma can impact a person’s emotional and psychological well-being, shaping their relationships and self-perception. In this blog post, we will delve into the concept of childhood trauma, its potential causes, and ways to identify someone who may have experienced it.
What is Childhood Trauma? Childhood trauma refers to a distressing event or series of events that occur during childhood and profoundly impact a person’s development. These experiences can vary widely and may include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect, losing a loved one, witnessing domestic violence, or exposure to substance abuse.
The Impact of Childhood Trauma: Childhood trauma can have far-reaching consequences that extend well into adulthood. When a child’s safety and emotional well-being are compromised during their formative years, it can disrupt their ability to form healthy attachments, manage emotions, and build trust in others. As a result, they may develop maladaptive coping mechanisms and struggle with intimacy, vulnerability, and self-worth.
Begging for Love: One of the tell-tale signs of childhood trauma is seeking love and validation from individuals who are emotionally unavailable or incapable of reciprocating genuine affection. Survivors of trauma may unconsciously gravitate towards relationships that mirror their early experiences, hoping to rewrite their past by gaining the love and acceptance they were denied as children.
Genesis of Childhood Trauma: The roots of childhood trauma are often found in dysfunctional family dynamics, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and exposure to ongoing stress or adversity. As identified by the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, ACEs include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect, parental substance abuse, mental illness, divorce, or domestic violence.
Spotting Someone with Childhood Trauma: Identifying someone who has experienced childhood trauma can be challenging, as survivors often conceal their pain behind a façade of strength. However, certain signs and behaviours may indicate the presence of unresolved trauma, including:
Avoidance of emotional intimacy or difficulty in forming close relationships.
Hyper-vigilance and a constant sense of danger, even in safe environments.
Low self-esteem and a belief that they are unworthy of love and care.
Frequent outbursts of anger or extreme emotional reactions to minor triggers.
Engaging in self-destructive behaviours, such as substance abuse or self-harm.
Re-experiencing traumatic memories through flashbacks or nightmares.
Difficulty regulating emotions and coping with stress.
Healing and Recovery: Recognizing and acknowledging childhood trauma is the first step towards healing and recovery. Professional help through therapy, counselling, or support groups can provide a safe space for survivors to process their emotions, learn coping strategies, and rebuild their self-esteem.
Childhood trauma casts a long shadow over an individual’s life, shaping their perceptions, behaviours, and relationships. By understanding the genesis of childhood trauma and recognizing the signs, we can offer support and compassion to those who have experienced such hardships. Healing from childhood trauma is a journey that requires patience and understanding. Still, with the right resources and support, survivors can find their path to recovery and ultimately lead fulfilling lives.
Though I knit my brow, my gaze is fixed longingly anyway. Though I check my tongue, this tortured face of mine dissolves in a smile. Though I drive my heart to hardness, my body bears the gooseflesh of desire. When I see that man, how on earth can my anger survive?
In a world where external validations often take center stage, it’s easy to overlook the most crucial source of validation – our own self-worth. Valuing yourself is not just a matter of self-esteem; it’s a transformative force that can significantly impact how you interact with the world and how it responds to you.
The Secret of Self-Value:
When you see yourself as valuable, a subtle but powerful shift occurs in your aura. People around you can subconsciously sense this newfound self-assurance and self-respect, which inevitably demands respect in return. Embracing your worth sets the foundation for healthier relationships, personal growth, and professional success.
Commanding Respect:
The magic of self-value lies in its ability to effortlessly alter how you project yourself to others. As you recognize your inherent worth, your voice gains authority, and your words become more persuasive. Your body language naturally exudes dominance, without you even consciously trying to do so. This shift in energy commands respect from those around you, leading to more meaningful interactions and collaborations.
Attracting Positive Vibes:
Believing in your high value creates a magnetic aura that draws positive energy towards you. Confidence and self-assurance act as beacons that attract like-minded individuals, opportunities, and experiences. As you embody your self-worth, you’ll be surrounded by supportive people and situations aligning with your goals and aspirations.
Unleashing Your True Potential:
When you fully embrace your value, you unleash your true potential. Taking risks, pursuing your passions, and stepping out of your comfort zone becomes easier. The fear of judgment or failure diminishes, allowing you to grow and evolve. The world becomes your canvas, and you fearlessly paint your life with the colors of your dreams.
Embracing Self-Value:
The beauty of valuing yourself lies in its simplicity. It starts with a single thought deeply rooted in your mind – “I’m high value.” This belief forms the cornerstone of your self-confidence and self-esteem. When you genuinely recognize your worth, you no longer seek external validation to feel complete. You become self-reliant, empowering yourself to navigate life’s challenges with resilience.
The Ripple Effect:
Valuing yourself has a ripple effect that touches your life and the lives of those around you. As you cultivate self-love and self-respect, you become an inspiration to others. Your growth journey becomes a beacon of hope for those seeking the same transformation, encouraging them to embark on their path of self-discovery.
The importance of valuing yourself cannot be overstated. Embrace your worth, for it is the key to unlocking the doors of possibility and leading a fulfilling life. As you radiate self-assurance and self-respect, you become a force to be reckoned with – a force that inspires, uplifts, and transforms yourself and the world around you. Remember, you are high value, and the world is ready to witness the brilliance within you. Embrace it, and watch your life soar to new heights.
Parenting is a journey filled with love, growth, and learning. As society evolves, so do the roles of parents in their children’s lives. Gone are the days of traditional parental roles; today’s parents embrace new challenges, adapt to changing times, and navigate uncharted territories, all while nurturing lasting bonds with their children. Let’s explore the evolving roles of parents and how they shape the next generation’s lives.
From Guardians to Mentors:
In the past, parents were seen primarily as guardians, responsible for providing safety, discipline, and guidance. However, in the modern era, parents have evolved into mentors. They protect their children and actively participate in their growth and development. Parents now play an integral role in shaping their children’s aspirations and dreams by offering support, encouragement, and wisdom.
Embracing Equality:
With the ongoing movement towards gender equality, parents are breaking away from traditional gender roles. Fathers are more involved in nurturing and caregiving, while mothers pursue careers and personal ambitions. This shift fosters a sense of equality within the family, encouraging children to value diverse perspectives and embrace their unique strengths.
Navigating the Digital Age:
In today’s digital world, parents are faced with new challenges. They take on the role of digital mentors, guiding their children’s safe and responsible use of technology. Balancing screen time, encouraging healthy online habits, and fostering a sense of digital citizenship are crucial aspects of parenting in the 21st century.
Supporting Emotional Well-being:
Parents are increasingly attuned to their children’s emotional needs. They understand the significance of emotional intelligence and mental health, providing a nurturing environment where children can express themselves freely. Open communication and empathy form the foundation of a strong parent-child bond, promoting emotional well-being throughout a child’s lifetime.
Fostering Independence:
Parents learn to balance protection with the need to foster independence as children grow. They encourage their children to explore, make decisions, and learn from experiences. Parents help children develop resilience, adaptability, and problem-solving skills that prepare them for life’s challenges by providing a safe space for growth.
Nurturing Lifelong Learning:
Parents now recognize that learning is not confined to formal education. They embrace the role of lifelong learners themselves and instil a love for learning in their children. By fostering curiosity and a growth mindset, parents empower their children to be adaptable, resourceful, and curious.
Advocating for Inclusivity:
Parents play a crucial role in advocating for inclusivity and acceptance in today’s diverse world. They teach their children to celebrate differences, challenge stereotypes, and be compassionate global citizens. Parents help shape a more inclusive society for future generations by promoting respect and tolerance.
Balancing Work and Family:
As work-life balance becomes a priority, parents find innovative ways to manage their professional and familial responsibilities. They emphasize quality time over quantity, ensuring meaningful interactions and shared experiences that strengthen family bonds.
The roles of parents in a child’s lifetime have evolved significantly. From guardians to mentors, digital mentors to emotional support systems, parents adapt to the changing world while remaining steadfast in their love and commitment. By embracing these evolving roles, parents create nurturing environments that empower their children to thrive, grow, and contribute meaningfully to the world. Parenting is a lifelong journey, and as parents evolve, so does the foundation of love and guidance they provide, shaping future generations.
Imposter Syndrome, a pervasive phenomenon affecting individuals across various walks of life, can be a significant barrier to personal and professional growth. It manifests as an overwhelming feeling of self-doubt, despite ample evidence of one’s competence and accomplishments. In this article, we delve into the depths of Imposter Syndrome, exploring its causes, effects, and strategies to overcome it, empowering individuals to embrace their success confidently.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome: Imposter Syndrome stems from internalized self-doubt, where individuals attribute their achievements to luck or external factors rather than their abilities. It often affects high-achievers, including professionals, artists, students, and entrepreneurs, leaving them with a persistent fear of being exposed as fraud.
Contributing Factors: Several factors contribute to the development of Imposter Syndrome. Perfectionism, fear of failure, and comparison to others play a significant role. Additionally, cultural and societal expectations, minority status, and past experiences of criticism or setbacks can intensify feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing these factors is crucial to addressing and overcoming Imposter Syndrome.
Effects on Individuals and Performance: Imposter Syndrome can harm an individual’s mental and emotional well-being. Constant self-doubt and fear of being exposed as fraud can lead to anxiety, stress, burnout, and even depression. Moreover, it hampers performance, as individuals may hold themselves back from pursuing new opportunities or taking on challenging tasks due to the fear of failure or being “found out.”
Strategies to Overcome Imposter Syndrome: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome requires a combination of self-reflection, mindset shifts, and supportive strategies. Here are some practical steps individuals can take to break free from the clutches of self-doubt and embrace their achievements:
Acknowledge and challenge negative thoughts: Recognize that self-doubt is often irrational and challenge negative beliefs with evidence of your competence and accomplishments.
Embrace vulnerability and share your experiences: Opening up about your struggles with trusted friends, mentors, or support groups can alleviate feelings of isolation and help you realize that you are not alone in your journey.
Celebrate successes and cultivate self-compassion: Practice acknowledging and celebrating your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just as a close friend would.
Adjust perfectionistic tendencies: Set realistic goals, focusing on progress rather than flawless outcomes. Embrace the “good enough” concept and understand that mistakes and setbacks are natural parts of the learning process.
Seek support and mentorship: Surround yourself with a supportive network of mentors, colleagues, or friends who can provide guidance, encouragement, and perspective.
Imposter Syndrome can be a formidable obstacle to success, but it is not insurmountable. By understanding its causes, recognizing its effects, and implementing strategies to combat it, individuals can reclaim their confidence and embrace their accomplishments authentically. Remember, success is not measured by the absence of self-doubt but by the resilience to push forward despite it.
By breaking free from the grips of Imposter Syndrome, individuals can unlock their full potential, pursue their goals with unwavering determination, and create a life filled with genuine success and fulfilment.
Betrayal trauma is a profound psychological response to the violation of trust and deep emotional bonds by someone close, often leading to devastating consequences for the individual experiencing it. In this blog post, we will delve into betrayal trauma and its effects on emotional well-being and explore effective strategies for healing and moving forward. Let’s embark on a journey to understand and address the complexities of betrayal trauma.
Defining Betrayal Trauma: Betrayal trauma refers to the emotional and psychological distress experienced when a person’s trust and sense of safety are shattered by someone they deeply rely on or have a close relationship with. It can occur in various contexts, such as intimate partnerships, familial relationships, friendships, or professional settings. The magnitude of betrayal trauma can vary, ranging from breaches of trust to severe forms of deception and betrayal.
The Impact of Betrayal Trauma on Emotional Well-being: Betrayal trauma can have far-reaching effects on an individual’s emotional well-being. Common reactions include feelings of shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, confusion, and an erosion of self-esteem. It can also lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and difficulties in establishing trust with others. The profound impact of betrayal trauma necessitates a comprehensive approach to healing and recovery.
Strategies for Healing from Betrayal Trauma: a. Validating emotions: Acknowledging and validating the range of emotions experienced is an essential step in the healing process. This involves allowing oneself to feel and express emotions without judgment or self-blame. b. Seeking support: Building a support system is crucial for healing from betrayal trauma. Trusted friends, family members, or support groups can provide a safe space for expression, validation, and understanding. c. Professional guidance: Engaging in therapy with a qualified mental health professional can offer valuable tools and strategies for processing the trauma, addressing associated challenges, and developing coping mechanisms. d. Self-care practices: Prioritizing self-care activities such as exercise, mindfulness, journaling, and engaging in hobbies can help restore a sense of well-being and provide a healthy outlet for emotional expression. e. Rebuilding trust: Rebuilding trust, both in oneself and in others, is a gradual process. Setting healthy boundaries, effective communication, and consistent actions from those involved can contribute to restoring trust over time.
The Journey towards Post-Traumatic Growth: While betrayal trauma can be harrowing, it is possible to experience post-traumatic growth. This involves transforming the trauma into an opportunity for personal growth, increased resilience, and a deeper understanding of oneself. Through therapy, self-reflection, and engaging in meaningful activities, individuals can emerge stronger, more self-aware, and capable of forming healthier connections.
Betrayal trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can profoundly impact emotional well-being. However, individuals can embark on a path of recovery and transformation by recognizing the effects of betrayal trauma, seeking support, and engaging in healing practices. Remember, healing takes time, self-compassion, and a commitment to personal growth. Together, let us acknowledge the pain, embrace resilience, and empower ourselves to move forward on the healing journey from betrayal trauma.
Ghosting is a distressing phenomenon that has become increasingly prevalent in modern relationships. Ghosting refers to the sudden and unexplained disappearance of one person from another’s life, leaving the recipient confused, hurt, and questioning what went wrong.
Defining Ghosting: Ghosting refers to abruptly and intentionally cutting off all communication with someone, typically without any explanation or warning. It is a form of silent rejection where one party ceases all contact and disappears from the other person’s life, leaving them feeling abandoned and uncertain about what went wrong. Ghosting can occur in various relationship contexts, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and even professional relationships.
Implications of Ghosting: Ghosting can have significant emotional and psychological implications for the individuals involved. The sudden and unexplained communication withdrawal can lead to feelings of rejection, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. The lack of closure and unanswered questions can cause confusion and make moving on from the relationship challenging. Ghosting can also erode trust and make individuals hesitant to invest in future relationships.
Reasons Behind Ghosting: While the motivations for ghosting can vary, some common reasons include fear of confrontation, avoidance of difficult conversations, lack of interest or connection, and a desire to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings. Sometimes, individuals may resort to ghosting to assert control or avoid accountability for their actions. However, it’s important to note that ghosting is not an acceptable or healthy way to end a relationship.
Impact on Mental Well-being: The emotional toll of being ghosted can be significant. The lack of closure and unanswered questions can lead to sadness, anger, and rejection. This can harm mental well-being, causing individuals to question their self-worth and leading to increased anxiety and depression. It is crucial to prioritize self-care, seek support from friends and family, and consider professional help if needed to navigate the emotional aftermath of being ghosted.
Healthy Communication and Relationship Building: Fostering open and honest communication is paramount to prevent and address ghosting. By expressing needs, boundaries, and expectations early on, individuals can establish a foundation of trust and mutual understanding. It is essential to create a safe space for difficult conversations and to approach relationship issues with empathy and respect. Cultivating healthy communication skills and promoting transparency can contribute to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
But how do you spot if you have been ghosted? What are the ways to deal with ghosting to protect oneself from heartbreak? Let’s explore practical strategies to navigate this distressing dating and relationship phenomenon.
Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms of Ghosting: When you suspect you’re being ghosted, watch out for these common signs and symptoms:
Sudden and prolonged silence: The person stops responding to messages, calls, or any form of communication without any valid explanation.
Frequent cancellations: Plans are frequently cancelled at the last minute, with excuses becoming more frequent and less plausible.
Lack of engagement: The person becomes disinterested and shows reduced enthusiasm in conversations and spending time together.
Disappearing from social media: They stop interacting on social media platforms or delete their presence altogether.
Coping Strategies for Dealing with Ghosting:
a. Give it time: Allow yourself to process the emotions of being ghosted. Allow yourself to feel hurt, but avoid dwelling on it for an extended period.
b. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends or family members to share your feelings and gain perspective. Their support can provide comfort and help you gain clarity.
c. Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and boost your self-esteem. Exercise, practice mindfulness, pursue hobbies, and invest time in personal growth.
d. Avoid blame: Refrain from blaming yourself for being ghosted. Remember that ghosting is a reflection of the other person’s behaviour and not a reflection of your worth.
Preventing Heartbreak and Minimizing the Risk of Ghosting:
a. Set clear expectations: Establish open and honest communication from the beginning of a relationship, discussing expectations, boundaries, and the importance of respectful communication.
b. Take it slow: Avoid quickly rushing into an intense emotional connection. Gradually build trust and understanding to reduce the chances of being ghosted.
c. Be observant: Pay attention to the person’s consistency, actions, and communication patterns. Red flags such as evasiveness or a lack of effort may indicate a higher likelihood of ghosting.
d. Trust your instincts: Trust your intuition if something feels off or inconsistent. If the person’s behaviour raises concerns, addressing them early on is essential to avoid future heartbreak.
Ghosting can be a painful and confusing experience, but recognizing the signs, employing coping strategies, and taking preventive measures can protect yourself from unnecessary heartbreak. Remember to prioritize your emotional well-being, focus on self-care, and surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family. Promoting healthy communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care are key to creating fulfilling relationships and preventing the emotional turmoil of ghosting. Remember, everyone deserves respect and consideration, even when relationships end.
Today’s society often focuses on the initial stages of romantic relationships, glorifying the passionate rush of falling in love. However, many fail to realize that sustaining love requires effort and dedication. While falling in love is easy and exhilarating, growing in love is a lifelong journey that demands maturity, understanding, and commitment. This article delves into the significance of transitioning from a mere feeling of love to a practice of love, highlighting the rewards and challenges of nurturing and evolving a deep connection.
Understanding Love as a Practice, Not Just a Feeling: Love is often mistakenly perceived as a fleeting emotion, something we stumble into by chance. However, true love extends beyond transient feelings and requires ongoing cultivation. It is a conscious decision and commitment to be the best versions of ourselves, both individually and as partners. Recognizing this paradigm shift is crucial to embracing growth and rising in love.
Navigating Conflict and Changes: Every relationship is bound to encounter conflicts and experience changes over time. Understanding that conflicts are not signs of a failing relationship but rather growth opportunities is essential. The initial hormonal rush inevitably subsides, giving way to a more stable and grounded connection. Instead of chasing the fading euphoria, couples who grow in love learn to adapt and find new ways to nurture their bond.
Embracing the Beauty of Growth: Growing in love requires maturity, acknowledging that our partner cannot be responsible for our happiness. It entails accepting that disappointments and disagreements are natural aspects of any relationship. There may be times when both partners are not on the same page or moments of boredom need to be addressed. It is through these challenges that love is tested and fortified.
Nurturing the Relationship: A thriving relationship demands constant nourishment. Growing in love means investing time and effort in self-reflection and recognizing areas within ourselves that require work. It involves being comfortable with occasional discomfort and periods where the emotional connection may wane. Moreover, it requires a willingness to give and receive, understanding that equality is not always about a perfect balance but meeting each other’s needs differently.
The Journey of Growth: While growing in love may not always be easy, it is a beautiful process that offers tremendous rewards. It can be an intense and transformative experience that unearths old wounds, triggering emotional responses from the past. However, it is through these challenges that trust, security, safety, and a joy-filled connection can be established, fostering a deep bond that withstands the test of time.
Moving beyond the initial stage of falling in love, growing and rising in love requires a shift in mindset and a commitment to continuous personal and relational development. Love is not merely a fleeting feeling but an ongoing practice that demands dedication, understanding, and the willingness to navigate challenges together. By embracing the beauty of growth and nurturing our relationships, we can cultivate profound connections that enrich our lives and create lasting happiness.
When it comes to relationships in nature, the partnership between orchids and fungi is a stunning example of symbiosis. As you carefully select a beautiful orchid for your loved one, did you know that orchids have their own partners? In this article, we delve into the intricate world of symbiotic relationships, shedding light on the various types of symbiosis and exploring how orchids and fungi create a unique and mutually beneficial bond.
Flavours of Symbiosis: Symbiosis, derived from Greek roots meaning “living” and “together,” encompasses relationships between different species where one species relies on another for survival. Much like a box of chocolates, symbiosis comes in different flavours, ranging from harmonious to more complicated connections.
Mutualism: In mutualistic relationships, both species involved derive benefits. In the case of orchids and fungi, mutualism is the driving force behind their bond, as they exchange carbohydrates and moisture, ensuring the growth and sustenance of both partners.
Commensalism: Commensalism describes a relationship where one species benefits while the other remains unaffected. Although not directly applicable to orchids and fungi, it is important to understand the range of symbiotic connections in nature.
Parasitism: Parasitic relationships involve one species benefiting at the expense of another. However, this type of relationship is not prevalent between orchids and fungi, as their partnership is primarily mutually beneficial.
Amensalism: Amensalism occurs when one species is inhibited or obliterated while the other remains unaffected. This type of symbiotic relationship does not apply to the orchid-fungi connection.
Orchids and Fungi: Orchids form a complex symbiotic relationship with certain fungi known as mycorrhizae. This relationship is critical for the survival of juvenile orchids, as they rely on these fungal symbionts for carbohydrates. In return, the fungi receive moisture and access to organic matter, creating a sweet and mutually beneficial arrangement.
The Role of Fungi in Orchid Growth: Since orchids often grow in habitats with limited sunlight, they face challenges in producing chlorophyll, essential for their growth. Orchids have overcome this obstacle by depending on specific fungi. These fungi digest organic matter in the surroundings, converting it into simpler molecules such as sugar that the orchids can absorb. Consequently, orchids rely on fungi during their early growth stages.
The Intricacies of Togetherness: In the symbiotic process between orchids and fungi, the fungi invade the orchid seeds before germination, providing vital nutrients to the young orchid. As orchids mature, some species can produce their food through photosynthesis. However, research suggests that even photosynthetic orchids may continue to utilize fungi as a supplementary food source.
The Hidden Connection: The intricate connection between orchids and fungi occurs between the plant’s root tissue and the fungus’s mycelium. While unseen to the naked eye, this relationship plays a vital role in the growth and nourishment of orchids.
Beneficial for Both: The fungi gain moisture and nutrition by digesting plant material in the roots of orchids. In turn, the orchids provide a water-rich environment for the fungi, ensuring their survival. The humid and moist conditions created by orchids offer a haven for the fungi to thrive.
Unveiling the Mycorrhizal Cheaters: Certain plants sometimes bypass traditional photosynthetic processes and obtain nutrients from nearby fungi. Referred to as “mycorrhizal cheaters,” these plants defy conventional methods of nutrient acquisition, showcasing the remarkable diversity of symbiotic relationships in nature.
As you celebrate your loved ones with romantic gestures, remember the captivating partnership between orchids and fungi—a love so true in symbiosis. This extraordinary relationship reminds us that giving and receiving are fundamental to any successful connection. From the sweet mutualism between orchids and fungi, we can learn valuable lessons about the beauty and intricacies of nature’s symbiotic dances.
On World Population Day, we celebrate the importance of sexual and reproductive health and rights. Among the various contraceptive options available, female condoms are a powerful tool for women to take control of their sexual health. Offering dual protection and empowering women to prioritize their well-being, female condoms have emerged as a game-changer in contraception. In this article, we delve into the remarkable features and benefits of female condoms while optimizing them with top-ranking SEO keywords to ensure their reach to a wider audience.
Enhanced Protection: Female condoms provide an additional layer of protection during sexual intercourse, guarding against both unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Their unique design enables them to cover the vaginal canal, creating a barrier that helps prevent the transmission of STIs, including HIV. By offering this double protection, female condoms empower women to participate in the decision-making process concerning their sexual health actively.
Pleasurable Experience: Unlike traditional male condoms, female condoms are not solely dependent on the male partner’s cooperation for usage. Women can proactively take charge of their sexual health by inserting a female condom before intercourse. The inner ring of the condom aids in insertion and keeps it securely in place during intercourse. This self-initiated approach allows women to experience increased sexual empowerment and satisfaction.
Versatility and Accessibility: One of the significant advantages of female condoms is their versatility. They can be used with any type of lubricant, unlike male condoms incompatible with oil-based lubricants. Furthermore, female condoms can be inserted up to eight hours before sexual activity, which offers flexibility and eliminates the need for an interruption during the heat of the moment. These features make female condoms an accessible choice for women across diverse circumstances.
Non-Hormonal Option: Female condoms provide a non-hormonal contraceptive option, particularly beneficial for women with health concerns or sensitivities to hormonal methods. By relying on physical barrier protection, female condoms eliminate the potential side effects of hormonal contraception, providing a safe and reliable choice for women worldwide.
Female condoms are vital in empowering women to take charge of their sexual health. By providing dual protection against unwanted pregnancies and STIs, offering a pleasurable experience, and ensuring accessibility and versatility, female condoms stand out as an excellent contraceptive option. As we commemorate World Population Day, let us celebrate the positive impact of female condoms in promoting sexual and reproductive health and advocate for their widespread availability and usage worldwide.
In the depths of love’s vast sea, I wish for you, my dear, to see, A smile that greets you at the door, A love that leaves you wanting more.
May you find someone who embraces, The beauty within your soul’s spaces, Who sees the scars that tell your story, And finds them adorned with grace and glory.
I hope for you a love that’s clear, No doubts or questions, just sincere, A love that boldly lets you know, How deeply their feelings for you grow.
May you discover a love so true, That never hesitates, always pursues, A love that gives its entirety, No fragments, just pure sincerity.
I hope for you a love that understands, Your worth, the treasures in your hands, A love that cherishes your soul, And nurtures it, making it whole.
May you find a partner, strong and true, Your biggest supporter in all you pursue, Not seeking attention, but giving it back, A love that’s balanced, never off track.
But above all, my hope, my dear, Is that you find this love, crystal clear, Within yourself, before it’s found, So you’re ready when love comes around.
Discover the depths of your own heart, Unveil the love, ready to impart, For in loving yourself, you’ll truly see, The love you deserve, so wild and free.
So my hope for you, my precious friend, Is to embrace self-love, let it ascend, For when you’re ready, love will come, A love that’s beautiful, pure, and strong.
One day before I go, I want you to know, That your presence in my life, Fills me with joy and delight.
Your wisdom streaks so profound, In your soft brown eyes, wisdom is found. Your dimpled cheeks, so sweet, They bring a smile whenever we meet.
And that infectious smile you wear, Brings light to all who are near. Your towering height, a gentle might, Yet you always make me feel just right.
Your warm hugs, they hold me tight, In your embrace, everything feels right. Your effervescent presence, a shining light, Guiding me through the darkest night.
Your sense of humour, a constant delight, With your sharp wit, you set things right. Your cleft chin, a mark so fine, A reminder of a love that’s mine.
Even your anxiety-bitten nails, Can’t hide the kindness that prevails. Your heart is so kind and pure, With genuine concern, that’s sure.
For anger, you have no room, Your support never ceases to bloom. Your affection, pure and true, Unwavering in all that you do.
You tower above, head and heart, And in your cuddle, I find my start. That amusing grunt you make, Leaves me laughing, wide awake.
Your polite refusal, a mark of grace, In your passionate kiss, I find solace. Your loving caress, a tender touch, Brings comfort that means so much.
And oh, your delicious food, Filling my soul, my gratitude renewed. Engrossing conversations we share, Leaving me laughing without a care.
Your swift hand movements, so precise, Accompany tender talks that entice. Your magnetic vibes, I’m drawn to you, With every word, my love for you grew.
Driving with running commentary, Holding my hand, a beautiful story. Your engaging tales, they make me smile, Leaving me laughing for a while.
You’ve been my protector, my rock, Through thick and thin, around the clock. Your blue sheet conversations so deep, Leaving me yearning, longing to keep.
I look up to you, figuratively and literally, As your chin rest, my heart fills merrily. In my darkest moments, you’ve rescued me, Guiding me with love, setting me free.
You’ve shown me how to love unconditionally, Providing a sense of security. My knight in shining armour, strong and true, You make me feel cherished, driving my blues.
For keeping me afloat, my buoy, I send wishes for your days with joy. In awe, admiration, and adulation, I remain your pocket-sized Dynamo.
Thank you for being my full-course meal, While I am your sweet dessert, so surreal. With love, always and forevermore, Your pocket-sized Dynamo, forever yours.
In the realm of modern dating and relationships, breadcrumbing has emerged as a common and frustrating practice. Breadcrumbing refers to the practice of intermittently giving attention, communication, or affection to someone while lacking genuine intentions for a committed relationship. Discover how breadcrumbing keeps individuals on the periphery, with sporadic messages, occasional dates, and displays of affection that lead nowhere. Whether experienced in online or offline relationships, breadcrumbing can leave you feeling confused and emotionally drained.
Signs and Symptoms of Breadcrumbing: Recognizing the signs of breadcrumbing is crucial to protect yourself from potential heartbreak. Understand the common indicators of this practice:
Inconsistent communication: Breadcrumbers engage in sporadic texting or messaging, making you wait for their responses or providing vague replies.
Mixed signals: They send flirtatious or affectionate messages, but their actions contradict their words. Their interest and commitment may fluctuate.
Lack of initiation: Breadcrumbers rarely take the lead in progressing the relationship or initiating plans, relying on you to maintain the connection.
Minimal effort: They invest minimal effort into the relationship, such as occasional compliments, infrequent dates, or superficial conversations.
Excuses and postponements: Breadcrumbers frequently cancel plans or make excuses to avoid committing to future arrangements, leaving you feeling frustrated and uncertain.
Safeguarding Against Breadcrumbing: Protecting yourself from breadcrumbing requires awareness and proactive steps. Implement the following strategies:
Recognize the signs: Educate yourself about the signs of breadcrumbing to identify if you are experiencing it. Awareness is key to protecting yourself.
Trust your intuition: Listen to your instincts. If something feels inconsistent or off, address your concerns with the other person and trust your inner voice.
Communicate your expectations: Be clear about your desires and intentions. Openly communicate your needs and boundaries to filter out potential breadcrumbers.
Set boundaries: Establish and assertively communicate your boundaries. Breadcrumbers thrive on relationship ambiguity, so defining your limits can deter such behaviour.
Focus on reciprocity: Assess if the other person reciprocates your efforts and interest. A healthy relationship requires equal investment from both parties.
Prioritize self-care: Invest time and energy in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize personal growth to build resilience and self-worth.
Don’t settle for breadcrumbs: Recognize your value and worth. Refuse to accept half-hearted attention or inconsistent behaviour. Be willing to walk away from relationships that do not meet your needs.
Take time for reflection: Step back and reflect on the relationship if you suspect breadcrumbing. Assess if it aligns with your long-term goals and values.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to share your experiences and gain perspective. Having a support system provides guidance and emotional support during challenging times.
Understanding breadcrumbing and implementing strategies to safeguard yourself can protect your emotional well-being and cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Remember, you deserve genuine love and commitment, not mere breadcrumbs. Safeguard your heart and navigate breadcrumbing with confidence.
“The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.”
Bob Marley
Love bombing, a manipulative tactic used in relationships, can leave individuals emotionally shattered. This deceptive practice involves an intense showering of affection, attention, appreciation, and grand gestures that quickly captivate the victim. However, beneath the surface, love bombing conceals a darker intention—to gain control and power over the unsuspecting target. In this feature, we explore the phenomenon of love bombing and its devastating effects and provide insights into healing from its aftermath.
Love Bombing is a Psychological Deception: Love bombing is a term coined to describe a manipulative tactic employed by individuals with narcissistic or abusive tendencies. Research suggests that love bombers strategically employ excessive displays of affection, constant communication, lavish gifts, and flattery to overwhelm and captivate their targets. This overwhelming flood of positive attention and validation creates a false sense of security, deep emotional connection, and dependency within the victim.
The Devastating Effects of Love Bombing: While love bombing may initially feel like a whirlwind romance, the aftermath can be catastrophic. Victims of love bombing often find themselves emotionally shattered when the charade unravels. Research indicates that the abrupt withdrawal of affection and the unveiling of the abuser’s true intentions can lead to severe emotional trauma, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and a distorted perception of love and relationships. The deceptive nature of love bombing makes it particularly damaging as victims struggle to reconcile the intense love they experienced with the painful reality they face.
Recognizing the Signs of Love Bombing: Awareness is crucial in identifying and escaping the clutches of love bombing. Some common signs of love bombing include:
Excessive flattery and constant praise.
Overwhelming attention and rapid progression in the relationship.
Isolation from friends and family creating dependency on the love bomber.
Frequent grand gestures and gifts to win affection and control.
Emotional manipulation and control tactics.
Healing and Recovery: Recovering from the aftermath of the love bombing requires time, self-reflection, and support. Here are some strategies to aid in healing:
Self-Care and Self-Compassion: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your emotional well-being. Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that you deserve love and respect.
Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can provide understanding and guidance throughout the healing process. Sharing your experiences with others can help validate your emotions and regain a sense of empowerment.
Set Boundaries: Establish and enforce healthy boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation. Learn to recognize and prioritize your needs and emotions.
Professional Help: Consider seeking therapy or counselling to process the trauma and regain emotional stability. A mental health professional can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs.
Moving Forward with Empowered Love
Recovering from love bombing involves rediscovering your self-worth and rebuilding trust in yourself and others. Remembering that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine care is essential. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the healing journey and focus on personal growth.
Love bombing may leave individuals shattered, but with awareness, support, and self-care, it is possible to reclaim personal power and rebuild a healthier future. Recognising the signs of love bombing and taking proactive steps towards healing, survivors can learn to differentiate between genuine love and manipulative tactics. Remember, you deserve love and respect that is authentic, nurturing, and built on trust. Embrace the healing journey, and let it catalyse growth, resilience, and empowered love.
Dixon, L. J., Hamilton-Giachritsis, C., Browne, K. D., & Ostapuik, E. (2005). The co-occurrence of child and intimate partner maltreatment in the family: Characteristics of the violent perpetrators. Journal of Family Violence, 20(6), 377-387.
The pain from a friendship breakup is real. It’s even worse if you don’t understand why it ended. People expect friendships to last forever. The ending is just as painful as romantic breakups. We just don’t talk about it.
Friendships are special in our lives, providing companionship, support, and shared experiences. However, when a friendship abruptly ends, the pain can be just as agonizing as a romantic breakup. Surprisingly, society often overlooks the emotional toll of friendship breakups, leaving individuals grappling with unanswered questions and a sense of loss. In this article, we delve into the unspoken heartache of friendship breakups, shedding light on their real impact and offering strategies for healing.
Understanding the Depth of Friendship Breakup Pain: Friendships are often perceived as enduring and eternal bonds, leading to high expectations of lifelong companionship. Consequently, when a friendship abruptly dissolves, the pain can be profound. Studies have shown that the emotional distress experienced after a friendship breakup is comparable to that of romantic relationships (1). However, unlike romantic breakups, the topic of friendship dissolution remains largely unspoken, further exacerbating the emotional turmoil.
The Lack of Closure: A Source of Intense Pain: One of the most challenging aspects of friendship breakups is the lack of understanding regarding why the relationship ended. Friends may not engage in open discussions or formal closure, unlike romantic partners. This lack of clarity often leaves individuals with unanswered questions, leading to self-doubt, rumination, and prolonged distress (2). The absence of closure can hinder the healing process, making it harder to move on and find resolution.
The Importance of Acknowledging and Validating Feelings: Acknowledging and validating the pain caused by a friendship breakup is essential. Recognizing that the pain is real and legitimate can help individuals navigate the healing process. Cultivating self-compassion and seeking support from trusted confidants can provide solace during this difficult time. Remember, your emotions are valid, and allowing yourself to grieve the loss is essential to healing.
Healing Strategies: Moving Forward
Self-Reflection and Acceptance: Reflect on the friendship and why it may have ended. Accept that friendships, like any relationship, can change and evolve over time. Acknowledge that personal growth and shifting priorities are natural, and it doesn’t diminish the value of the friendship shared.
Seek Support: Reach out to other friends or family members who can provide a listening ear and emotional support. Sharing your feelings with a trusted confidant can help alleviate the pain and provide perspective.
Engage in Self-Care: Engaging in activities that bring joy and comfort can aid healing. Whether practising mindfulness, pursuing hobbies, or taking care of your physical health, prioritizing self-care can facilitate emotional recovery.
Foster New Connections: While it may be challenging initially, opening yourself up to new friendships can help fill the void left by the breakup. Attend social events, join interest groups, or participate in community activities to meet new people with similar interests.
Friendship breakups are a deeply felt and often unaddressed aspect of human relationships. By acknowledging the pain caused by these separations and seeking to understand their impact, we can provide solace and support to those experiencing this silent heartache. Remember, friendship breakups are part of life’s journey, and with time, self-reflection, and nurturing new connections, the pain will gradually subside, paving the way for healing and growth.
References:
Sbarra, D. A., & Allen, J. J. (2009). Heartbreak and bereavement: Cognitive consequences and implications for self-concept. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 37(2), 154-166.
Felmlee, D., & Sweet, E. (2005). To sever friendships: Context and meaning in relationship dissolution. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22(1), 3-16.
13 ways to fall head over heels in love with yourself…
Self-love is a crucial aspect of personal well-being and happiness. It involves valuing yourself and prioritizing your needs without compromising your well-being to please others. Understanding what self-love means to you is essential for maintaining good mental health.
Embracing self-love offers numerous advantages, including increased life satisfaction and a more positive outlook on life. It allows you to develop a strong sense of self-worth and confidence in your abilities and place in the world. Furthermore, self-love plays a vital role in maintaining optimal mental health.
Achieving Total Self-Love: 13 Steps
Embrace Your Uniqueness: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your personal journey and growth. Recognize that there is no one else like you, and direct your energy towards self-improvement and personal fulfillment.
Ignore Society’s Expectations: Avoid concerning yourself with societal opinions and expectations. It is impossible to please everyone, so prioritize your own well-being and disregard the pressure to conform.
Learn from Mistakes: Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Mistakes are valuable opportunities for growth and learning. Embrace your past experiences, understanding that they contribute to your ongoing development.
Value Yourself Beyond Appearance: Recognize that your value as a person is not solely determined by your physical appearance. Reject societal pressures and wear what makes you feel confident, comfortable, and happy.
Let Go of Toxic Relationships: Identify and distance yourself from individuals who bring toxicity into your life. It may be difficult, but removing such negative influences is liberating and necessary for your personal growth and well-being.
Confront Your Fears: Instead of avoiding or suppressing your fears, face them head-on. Analyze and understand your fears, which can help alleviate anxiety and provide clarity in your life.
Trust Your Decision-Making Abilities: Believe in yourself and your capacity to make sound decisions. Your feelings and intuition are valid, and you know yourself better than anyone else. Advocate for yourself and trust your instincts.
Seize Opportunities: Don’t wait for the perfect moment to pursue your goals and dreams. Recognize that circumstances may never be ideal, but taking action and seizing opportunities can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
Prioritize Self-Care: Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your own well-being. Set aside time for self-care activities that help you decompress and recharge. Whether spending time in nature or engaging in activities that bring you joy, prioritise self-care.
Embrace Your Emotions: Allow yourself to fully experience a range of emotions, both positive and negative. Embrace pain and joy, as they provide valuable insights into your own nature. Remember, your feelings do not define your identity.
Express Yourself Boldly: Practice speaking your mind and expressing your thoughts and opinions. Boldness is a skill that grows with practice. Take a seat at the table, contribute to conversations, and assert your voice confidently.
Appreciate Simple Pleasures: Make a conscious effort to notice and appreciate the beauty in small things around you. Cultivate gratitude for these simple pleasures, as it brings perspective and enhances your ability to find joy.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself in a world full of criticism. Avoid negative self-talk and celebrate your progress and growth. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate your accomplishments, not just on special occasions.
By following these 13 steps, you can embark on a journey towards total self-love, fostering a healthy and positive relationship with yourself while prioritizing your well-being and happiness.
The full moon in July 2023, known as the Buck Moon, will occur on July 3. It will be visible for three days. This full moon is also a supermoon, appearing larger and more vibrant due to its proximity to Earth during perigee.
Three of Us!
Have you ever wondered about the fascinating connection between the moon and the dramatic tides that grace the shores? Join us as we dive into a captivating myth that sheds light on this celestial phenomenon.
In ancient times, the Gods reigned supreme over the sky, the earth, and the seas, each realm governed by a distinct deity. It was a harmonious era when their story unfolded. Atop the celestial sphere, the Sun God held dominion over the skies, basking in the glory of his golden chariot as he surveyed his celestial kingdom. His beloved daughter, Luna, adorned the night sky as the radiant moon, embarking on celestial sojourns in her shimmering silver chariot whenever her father retired.
One moonlit night, Luna embarked on an uncharted path, venturing closer to where the vast sky meets the boundless ocean. The mesmerizing expanse of shimmering waters enchanted her, reminiscent of her ethereal abode.
As Luna stood captivated by the scene, she sensed an intriguing presence observing her every move. A young man, bearing a golden hue akin to her father’s brilliance, sat upon a rock, casting his gaze upon her. Initially cautious of the handsome stranger, Luna contemplated leaving the scene. However, his warm smile enticed her to stay.
Curiosity piqued, Luna inquired about his identity, revealing her divine lineage as the daughter of the Sky God. The young man, Mar, proudly disclosed that he was the son of the Sea God. This encounter marked the genesis of an extraordinary friendship.
Mar regaled Luna with captivating tales of the vast ocean and its wonders, while Luna reciprocated by sharing the celestial chronicles from her realm. Night after night, they revelled in the joy of storytelling, forging a profound bond.
Soon, their affection blossomed into love, prompting Luna to confide in her cousin about her clandestine romance with Mar. Unbeknownst to her, her cousin betrayed her trust by promptly informing her uncle.
The wrath of the Sun God blazed like his scorching golden rays when he learned of Luna’s transgressions. He summoned his daughter, vehemently admonishing her for violating the sacred laws that governed their celestial existence. Luna, pleading for understanding, professed her love for Mar, who, like her, hailed from divine origins.
Despite her pleas, the Sun God remained relentless in his anger, confining Luna within the confines of a garden. Meanwhile, a messenger was dispatched to deliver the news to the Sea God, who reacted with fury upon discovering his son’s forbidden affection. Mar, too, found himself imprisoned within a secluded sea cave, bearing the weight of his father’s disapproval.
Separated and consumed by longing, Luna and Mar yearned for each other’s presence. One fateful night, driven by an unquenchable desire to reunite, Luna orchestrated her daring escape from the garden, embarking on a celestial odyssey in her silver chariot toward the vast sea. From his secluded cavern, Mar caught sight of Luna’s ethereal reflection glistening upon the ocean’s surface, intensifying his longing to be reunited with his beloved.
Although Mar’s attempts to break free from his watery prison proved futile, his ardent struggle caused the waves to surge and swell with newfound vigour. The ocean roared in restless turmoil, mirroring the depth of their love and yearning.
Heartbroken, Luna returned to the heavens at daybreak, denied even a glimpse of her beloved Mar. There, she remained in a state of melancholy and desolation. Yet, whenever thoughts of Mar consumed her, Luna would descend swiftly in her silver chariot, hoping against hope for his liberation. Alas, Mar’s confinement persisted, and with each futile attempt to break free, the sea responded with heaving tides. Thus, the magnificent ebb and flow of the tides came into existence, forever entwined with the tale of Luna and Mar.
The enchanting celestial romance of Luna and Mar and its profound impact on the rhythmic dance of the ocean’s ebb and flow… That’s an eternal love story and one for keeps.
Understanding and Addressing Childhood Bullying Among Schoolchildren
On February 24, 2022, a 16-year-old boy studying in a private school in Faridabaad was reported to have jumped to his death from the 15th floor of his residential society. Police had found a purported suicide note, addressed to his mother, in which he had blamed his school and “higher authorities”. It was a case of bullying and harrasmnet by the boy’s classmates, alleged his mother. The boy was harassed over his sexual orientation and the school ignored her complaint, the mother alleged.
But this is not a singular case of bullying. Bullying is a prevalent issue affecting children worldwide, causing significant emotional and psychological distress. And it is rampant among schoolchildren. Children are petrified, and unable to share the trauma, especially if the teachers and school authorities are uncooperative. Parents may or may not be able to spot the tell-tale signs of bullying in their children and even if they are, they need help to assist their child overcome the trauma thereon.
I. Why Children Become Bullies: Several factors contribute to the development of bullying behavior in children:
Family Influence: Negative experiences at home, such as abusive behavior or neglect, can influence a child’s tendency to become a bully.
Learned Behavior: Children may imitate bullying behavior they observe from adults, peers, or media.
Low Empathy and Emotional Understanding: Lack of empathy and difficulty in understanding others’ emotions can contribute to aggressive behavior.
Desire for Power and Control: Some children resort to bullying to assert dominance and gain a sense of power and control over others.
Social Dynamics: Children who seek social acceptance or popularity may engage in bullying to gain social status.
II. Tell-Tale Signs of a Bully: Identifying signs of bullying behavior can help in early intervention and prevention:
Aggressive Behavior: Frequent physical, verbal, or relational aggression towards other children.
Lack of Empathy: Demonstrating little concern or understanding of others’ feelings or distress caused by their actions.
Social Manipulation: Engaging in manipulative tactics to gain power and control over peers, such as spreading rumors or excluding others.
Enjoyment of Others’ Suffering: Exhibiting pleasure or satisfaction when witnessing others in distress.
Defiance of Authority: Consistently challenging and disregarding rules and authority figures.
III. Supporting Children Who Are Being Bullied: Addressing bullying requires a comprehensive approach involving parents, teachers, and the community:
Open Communication: Encourage children to openly share their experiences and emotions related to bullying.
Empathy and Validation: Provide emotional support and validate their feelings to build resilience.
Safety Measures: Collaborate with schools to implement safety protocols, such as increased supervision and secure reporting mechanisms.
Building Social Skills: Help children develop assertiveness and conflict resolution skills to navigate bullying situations effectively.
Professional Intervention: Consult school counselors, therapists, or psychologists for specialized support if needed.
IV. Seeking Help: Various resources are available to support children and address bullying incidents:
School Authorities: Inform teachers, principals, or school counselors about the situation to ensure appropriate intervention.
Helplines and Hotlines: Several helplines provide guidance and support for bullying-related issues. In India, Childline (1098) is a national helpline for children in distress.
Counseling Services: Seek professional counseling from psychologists or therapists who specialize in child and adolescent mental health.
Community Support: Engage with local community organizations or NGOs that focus on child welfare and anti-bullying initiatives.
V. Deep Implications of Childhood Bullying: Being bullied as a child can have severe and long-lasting consequences:
Psychological Effects: Bullying can lead to increased anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even suicidal thoughts in some cases.
Academic Impact: Victims may experience difficulties concentrating, decreased academic performance, and an aversion to attending school.
Social Isolation: Bullying can result in social withdrawal, making it challenging for victims to form trusting relationships.
Health Consequences: Physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, and sleep disturbances may arise due to the stress caused by bullying.
Long-term Effects: Some individuals carry the emotional scars of bullying into adulthood, impacting their overall well-being and relationships.
VI. Combating Bullying in Schools and Beyond: Preventing and addressing bullying requires a multi-faceted approach:
Awareness and Education: Conduct workshops and awareness campaigns to educate students, parents, and teachers about the consequences of bullying.
Strict Policies: Establish clear anti-bullying policies in schools and ensure their strict implementation.
Peer Support Programs: Implement peer mentoring and support initiatives to foster empathy, inclusion, and positive relationships.
Counseling and Intervention: Provide counseling services within schools to support both victims and bullies, addressing the underlying causes of bullying behavior.
Collaboration and Monitoring: Involve parents, teachers, and community members to create a supportive environment and monitor bullying incidents effectively.
Bullying is a complex issue with far-reaching implications for children’s well-being. Understanding the reasons behind bullying, recognizing signs of bullying behavior, and implementing appropriate interventions can help create a safer and more nurturing environment for children. By promoting awareness, seeking help from available resources, and implementing effective strategies, we can work towards eradicating bullying and fostering a culture of empathy, respect, and inclusion.
The trailer of Past Lives; The film releases in India on July 7, 2023.
Celine Song’s “Past Lives” tugs at one’s heartstrings. The film by the Korean-Canadian filmmaker explores the complexities of human existence and the Korean concept of In-yun, the belief that souls can be inextricably linked through thousands of reincarnations but that the nature of their connection can shift from life to life. The film opens with an unseen character (voice) asking, “Who do you think they are to each other?” while observing the three protagonists, Nora, Hae Sung, and Arthur, sitting across a bar late at night, engrossed in a deeply animated conversation with the East Asian lady flanked by an East Asian and White (American) men. This question is an access point into the complex tale and takes the audience straight into the past and present worlds of Na Young or Nora and Hae Sung, two deeply connected childhood friends from Seoul, who meet in New York twenty-four years later, and Nora’s Jewish American husband, Arthur. The Korean-American Nora navigates the two worlds when the twain meet and doubles up as a translator for Hae, whose English is poor, and Arthur, whose Korean is basic, to help them converse easily.
More here: https://www.instagram.com/pastlivesmovie/?hl=en There are two love stories, running parallelly through the entire runtime of 146 minutes, with both feeding into each other, yet showing us how truly distinct, in magnitude and scale, spread and width, geographically and emotionally close and distant, these two love tracks are from each other.
In no time, the story shifts to Seoul in South Korea, with 12-year-old children (a boy and a girl) walking home after school. The girl is grumpy while the boy is playful, dribbling his basketball all along because he, for once, could beat the girl at the grades and stood first in the class. He calls her a psycho and moves on. At home, the girl’s family is busy prepping to emigrate to Canada, and the girl and her sibling get engrossed in finalising their English names. The girl’s mother asks her if she likes anyone in her class, to which the 12-year-old sheepishly confesses that she does like a boy with whom she will get married when she grows up. The mother proposes to take them together on a date, which she heartily accepts with a shy grin.
The kids and their mothers meet, and the scene with the girl holding the boy’s hand and sleeping in the backseat while resting her head on his shoulder is symbolic in multiple ways. Nora’s mother’s profound statement to Hae’s mom — “If you leave something behind, you gain something, too” — becomes the guiding light of the young girl’s life, from Seoul to Ontario, from Ontario to New York. Life zips past their childhood, separating them across space and time at a great pace. The symmetry in a young boy staring into the nothingness out of the car window is matched in the finale scene where he looks out as the Uber taxi speeds away to drop him at the airport after his one-week-long reunion with Nora in New York, 24 years later. Then their last meeting in a garden on a rainy day as children in Seoul playing hide and seek against a huge stone art installation, and then meeting against the backdrop of a stone structure in New York is another level of symmetry in their lives and beings, one’s longing and another’s belonging matches frame by frame, without missing a beat.
The story pans in and out of Nora’s life as an adult, where she reads Hae Sung’s message on her filmmaker father’s Facebook page and connects online with him after 12 long years of separation. She asks him, why did he look up for her? His response wins (my heart, at least) hands down, “I wanted to see you one more time.” They rekindle that spark of friendship spread across geographies and time zones, but their togetherness across Skype calls gets spaced out and freezes in the frame. A pragmatic Nora realises that she had moved to New York to make a writing career and wouldn’t trade off that ambition at any cost. She decides to focus on her life’s larger goal — the upcoming Artists’ Residency — at the expense of the duo’s what-if relationship status and keeps it on hold till further notice. Hae is devastated and considerably lonely but accepts her childhood buddy’s decision. Their banters and bickerings across the screen make them so adorable as friends who reconnect, albeit virtually, only to separate in the real world once more. But did this have to happen? It’s a valid question, but perhaps not the most pressing one raised by this delicate and thoughtfully crafted drama that explores how our pasts shape our present realities. It examines when change represents growth and when it masks our true selves. The film contemplates whether life is determined by fate or will, what has permanence, and what is transient. The film delves into these complexities with admirable grace and poise as Nora reflects on how many emotions and missed opportunities have shaped her most cherished desires quite unapologetically. At the same time, Hae seems stuck in the past, looking at everything with nostalgia-tinted glasses. This movie delves into the captivating storytelling, exceptional performances, and profound themes of identity and destiny portrayed in Song’s masterpiece. As the story unfolds, Nora emerges as a strong woman character. She embodies resilience, courage, and determination, refusing to let anything restrict her from pursuing her life’s larger goal, and that’s quite stunningly remarkable. A double emigrant who learns to find her roots in a potted plant with her husband, and despite her hardships, learns to forge her path, embracing her inner strength and discovering her true purpose with aplomb. Her character arc highlights the importance of self-discovery and empowerment. From wanting to win the Nobel Prize for Literature as a 12-year-old to win a Booker as an adult and then wishing for the Tony sums her ambition graph. Within the tapestry of Past Lives, the concept of destiny plays a central role. The characters’ encounters and separations are intricately woven together by a higher force, guiding their lives. Through exploring reincarnation, the story poses thought-provoking questions about the nature of fate, free will, and the enduring power of love. What sustains it? What keeps the sparks alive? What kindles that flame? And how does it all turn into ashes in no time, to rise again, in another space, and in another time? Amidst the complexities of their love story, the narrative also delves into the power of friendship. The artists’ residency changes the course of Nora’s life. She meets her to-be husband Arthur there and explains In-Yun, and why meeting him is no coincidence for the duo in the first encounter itself. “There’s a word in Korean, In-Yun. It means providence or fate. But it’s specifically about relationships between people. For example, if two strangers walk by each other in the street, and their clothes accidentally brush, that means there have been 8,000 layers of In-Yun between them. That is In Yun.” Each encounter is said to be caused by hidden reasons that began years ago. Nora and Arthur were meant to meet and hit off instantly. She finds solace in his unwavering support, which strengthens and guides her professional journey. Through their bond, the story showcases the significance of companionship, loyalty, and the ability to overcome challenges together. His longing to belong in Nora’s world can be gauged from the fact that he is learning a new language to understand Nora’s dreams and sleep talks in Korean because he always felt that there are many places within that are absolutely out of bounds for him due to unfamiliarity with a language. For a fleeting moment, he fears losing her to Hae, Nora’s childhood sweetheart with whom she had reconnected after over two decades. But she handles his misplaced fear and insecurities with trust, places her faith in him, and shows him what his love and life mean to her… he is her world. She manages to assuage untoward and unwanted thoughts of him being an “evil White Husband standing in the way of destiny” with so much grace when she says, “This is my life. This is where I am supposed to be.” The tender moment makes the couple so lovable every which way. Nora and Hae’s encounters may vary in form and circumstance in their childhood and adulthood, but the underlying connection remains unbroken, leaving them with a lingering sense of familiarity and an unexplainable pull toward one another. Surprisingly Nora though not oblivious to Hae’s affections, is unable to reciprocate because it comes in the way of her life’s larger purpose. Once in New York, Nora takes Hae sightseeing and hosts him at home with her husband. The In-Yun conversation makes her come back, as if to complete the loop, when Hae wonders and asks Nora, “If you had never left Seoul, would I have still looked for you? Would we have dated? Broken up? Gotten married? Would we have had kids together?” He tells her upfront that maybe she wouldn’t have stayed because she likes to leave. And then, before bidding her goodbye, he asks her again, “If this is their Past Life, what would their next life be like?” None of them have an answer to it. The most heartbreaking scene is the silence between the three characters. Hae leaves while the otherwise calm and composed Nora cries her heart out, unable to hold back the emotional rollercoaster ride spanning a week. Her strength fades away in the flow of her tears, and that’s cathartic for her and her relationships — the one that is with Arthur and the one that could have been with Hae, as Hae had reminded Arthur in the bar that they must also have had some In-Yun as well.
I. Engaging Storytelling and Cinematic Craftsmanship: “Past Lives” weaves an intricate narrative that seamlessly blends past and present, challenging our perception of time. Celine Song, both writer and director, demonstrates her storytelling prowess by crafting a compelling screenplay that keeps viewers engaged from beginning to end. The film’s exquisite cinematography captures New York like never before, skilful editing, and atmospheric sound design enhance the immersive experience, transporting the audience into the realms of the past lives depicted on screen.
II. Stellar Performances and Emotional Depth: The performances in “Past Lives” are nothing short of exceptional, with each actor bringing depth and authenticity to their characters. The talented ensemble cast delivers nuanced portrayals, effortlessly capturing their respective characters’ complex emotions and internal struggles. Their performances evoke empathy and resonate deeply, adding layers of emotional complexity to the film’s exploration of love, loss, and the eternal cycle of rebirth.
III. Profound Themes of Identity and Destiny: At its core, “Past Lives” delves into profound existential themes, questioning the nature of identity and the role of destiny in shaping our lives. Through its intricate narrative structure, the film challenges conventional notions of time and asks thought-provoking questions about the interconnectedness of past and present. It explores the idea that our actions in past lives reverberate in our current existence, highlighting the inextricable links between our past, present, and future selves.
IV. Critical Acclaim and Audience Reception: Since its release, “Past Lives” has garnered critical acclaim and captivated audiences worldwide. The film has been praised for its innovative storytelling, lyrical visuals, and the profound emotional impact it leaves on viewers. Celine Song’s unique vision and ability to translate complex themes into a relatable and poignant narrative have solidified her status as a rising talent in cinema.
Song’s “Past Lives” is a cinematic masterpiece that transcends the boundaries of time and space, immersing audiences in a contemplative exploration of identity and destiny. The film’s engaging storytelling, stellar performances, and profound themes captivate viewers and leave a lasting impression. As Song continues to establish herself as a visionary filmmaker, Past Lives stands as a testament to her artistic brilliance and ability to provoke introspection and ignite the imagination of audiences worldwide. She has succeeded in taking her viewers on a mesmerising journey through time, blending elements of romance and mysticism, masterfully evoking emotions from heartwarming moments of love and connection to poignant instances of loss, longing, belonging and unbelonging. The film delves deep into the human experience, exploring the profound yearning for connection that transcends time and mortality. Viewers are left contemplating the power of love and the idea of past lives long after the credits roll.
So whether you’re a fan of romance, mysticism, or thought-provoking cinema, Past Lives is a must-watch that will leave you contemplating the mysteries of love and the possibility of eternal connections across lifetimes. Nora and Hae’s souls are destined to meet and maybe part across multiple lifetimes. But we hope that each time they are reborn, their paths intertwine in unexpected ways, shaping their shared destiny, and giving them everlasting togetherness. After all, All the World Loves Lovers.
(All photos sourced from Past Lives’ instagram handle)
In some measure, Dhruv Sehgal’s I Love Thane in Amazon Prime’s latest anthology Modern Love Mumbai is a cautionary tale on the trappings of a dating app, its trials and tribulations and the emotional toll it takes on a person when things don’t go as ‘planned’. The 34-year-old protagonist, landscape architect Saiba, played by Masaba Gupta, is caught in the dating app loop, spending a lot of time and energy hopeful about finding love just by swiping right. Her expectations from a prospective date are different, and she fails to find the perfect match in the app universe. The emotionally excruciating process gives her self-doubt and humiliation in abundance, as she admits in one scene, but then she starts the grind all over again in the hope of finding that elusive love and Mr Right. On one of her Date Zero, where she meets a hotshot startup founder whom she had never met in person before starts listing out the must-have qualities in the prospective life partner. His long monologue is greeted with her blank, bleak stare. The camera zooms in to capture the disappointment in Saiba’s gaze and matches it with that of another woman sitting a few tables away and out on a date as well; the women exchange a glance of blighted hope, equally let down by their respective dates. The fleeting moment elucidates the dating app plot that often makes one feel like a square peg in a round hole, with many misses before that one hit.
(The frames that tell the story… from I Love Thane in Modern Love Mumbai, currently streaming on Amazon Prime.)
How single women are navigating the world of #onlinedating
The ethos of Padma Shri recipient Shyam Sunder Paliwal’s life revolves around water, daughter and trees. A resident of Rajsamund district in Rajasthan, Paliwal is the architect of the Piplantri Model that hinges on water conservation, environment protection and saving the girl child.
Shri Shyam Sundar Paliwal, an inspirational Sarpanch of the model village of Piplantri in Rajsamand, is catalysing pioneering work across forestry, water, conservation and girl child empowerment. He will be awarded Padma Shri 2021. #PadmaAwards2021#PeoplesPadmapic.twitter.com/yIfO9pVQ4h
“It was not too long ago that the district was known as a hub of marble mining. When I took over as Sarpanch of Piplantari, I found that the water here was severely contaminated. The poor sex ratio was another worry. The winds of change began to blow when we started an initiative to plant 111 saplings to celebrate the birth of a girl child across the villages, nurture and help the tree thrive. Slowly, the rural communities had realised that the trees that would grow from these humble efforts would help the environment in more than one way. Simultaneously, we started water conservation efforts like building small check dams,” says Paliwal, founder of Kiran Nidhi Sansthan, a grassroots organisation committed to rural development.
Padma Shri Shyam Sunder Paliwal
His initiative brought about a visible social change and helped water and environmental conservation in Piplantari. More than three lakh trees have been planted here in the last ten years, and the water level has increased to 50 feet from 500 feet. “It is heartening to see my penance bear fruits. It has been a long and arduous journey spread over the last two decades. We never dithered but stayed put, instilled confidence in the people and won their trust to do this wonder here. It was possible because the community came forward and pitched its support to these initiatives for tree plantation, water conservation and saving the girl child,” he says.
But the work is far from over. The much-celebrated water warrior’s Piplantari Model is the perfect medium to convey the message to others, and many Panchayats and village heads are following in his footsteps.
— Ministry of Panchayati Raj, Government of India (@mopr_goi) March 9, 2022
He will continue his work on these three fronts all around the desert state and elsewhere in the country because it is an ongoing process. “There can never be enough of these measures to save the environment from climate change. We need to do more, all the more,” he emphasises.
राजसमंद जिला कलेक्टर श्रीमान @SaxenaNeelabh जी ग्राम पंचायत पिपलांत्री में पधारे एवं पिपलांत्री की विकास यात्रा जिसमें बेटी, पानी, पेड़, गोचरभूमि एवं वन्यजीवों को बचाकर लोगों को प्राकृतिक आधारित रोजगार से जोड़कर पर्यटन ग्राम बनाने के लक्ष्य का संदेश जिले की अन्य पंचायतों को दिया। pic.twitter.com/IK5qm5eydc
— Dr. Shyam Sunder Paliwal (@shyamsunder_111) March 20, 2022
Nagaur farmer Himmata Ram Bhambhu a.k.a. ‘Registan ke Ratna Ram’ was felicitated with Padma Shri for his enviable contribution to the environment. He adores and reveres trees and has so far planted five and a half lakh saplings in desert areas of Rajasthan, using ingenious ways to water and see them grow into green giants.
#WorldWaterDay : Spotlighting a few warriors who are creating abundance in scarcity
Bhambhu fondly recalls how his grandmother once made him plant a Peepal sapling and sowed a noble thought in his impressionable mind that eventually shaped his life. “She made me realise that humans could live at the most for 100, but trees live for hundreds of years. The thought stayed with me. Over the past five decades, I have been on a sapling planting spree in Rajasthan, and almost all of them have grown into green giants dotting Nagaur and other places in the desert state. They are my real wealth,” he says.
Hon’ble President of India Ramnath Kovind felicitated Nagaur farmer Himmata Ram Bhambhu with Padma Shri for Social Work (Environment) in 2020.
The district is home to India’s largest salt lake, Sambhar Lake and so Bhambhu had an onerous task at hand – overcome the problem of saltwater that could foil his green plan. He devised ways to counter it, and chose trees that could withstand water scarcity in the arid state.
He bought six acres of land in Harima village near Nagaur in 1999 and over the years, planted 11 thousand saplings, and today that patch of land has turned into a lush green forest and is the abode of hundreds of animals and birds. “Nagaur experiment proves that plants can grow in saltwater. We carried water from elsewhere, mixed it with saltwater to nurture this forest. Watering these saplings was a task in itself, but totally worth it. Our successful experiment here proves it. There are all kinds of trees in this forest, and what better than trees for rainwater harvesting. These are the biggest oxygen generators,” he adds.
Himmata Ram Bhambhu
Currently, the septuagenarian is in mission mode to plant five lakh more saplings by 2030 in the state. “I look at the 7 Js – jal (water), jungle (forest), jameen (land), jeev (animals), jaivik (organic farming), jalvayu (climate change), and jansankhya (population) – as the major standpoints of my green plan because each are inter-related,” he highlights.
National Award-winning filmmaker Sanjoy Nag draws inspiration from the timeless lyrics of Gulzar and the soulful rendition of Geeta Dutt in Anubhav for his debut work of fiction, Mujhe Jaan Na Kaho Meri Jaan, published by Red Grab Books last year.
Much like its musical counterpart, the book effortlessly captures the essence of love, seamlessly blending playfulness with poignant moments, joy with melancholy, and togetherness with loneliness. Through its pages, readers embark on a journey delving into the lives of two star-crossed lovers, Sadabahaar and Purbasha, whose tale unfolds like a symphony of love, each note resonating with emotion. Beyond its title, the book exudes a distinctive Gulzar-esque essence. Like the renowned poet, lyricist, and director Gulzar, who has immortalized his iconic films in the screenplay format, Nag’s book ventures into this lesser-explored literary genre with finesse. His first attempt at writing a piece of fiction around the lives of two women who decide to give birth to their baby is a hit from the word go. He gives us a story that tugs at the heartstrings because, like love in all its hues, it is all-embracing, and his craft shines in how he has skillfully dealt with the sensitive narrative, plot and characterisation. And much like his other films that have had strong female protagonists, this one is no exception. It’s Nag’s default choice. He once told me, “It is a deliberate attempt because I am surrounded by strong women. They make my life beautiful and more meaningful. Their stories inspire me, interest me and enrich my life.” This story, like his films, is an extension of his creative template. As I turned the pages, I couldn’t help but envision the story unfolding on the silver screen. Nag’s work begs for adaptation, a cinematic journey waiting to be realized. Perhaps someday soon.
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